Daddy's My Hero

Sorry if you object to my posting this as public, but just wanted to make a note of how incredibly wonderful you are. Chase couldn't have had a better father, and we will miss you terribly this week while you're back at work. Afterall, I cannot sing Bob Marley- so Chase is missing out! This has been such a roller coaster of emotions for the past 10 days- and I would not have been able to do it without you. While I'm nervous about doing this solo this week, I know that the weekend will arrive quickly and after your chocolate bribery with all the nurses, I think I'm in good hands.

As far as updates on Chase- no real big events currently- they increased his feeding amounts yesterday from 32mL to 36mL, and after a a long, somewhat discouraging day of trying to nipple feed (both nursing and bottle), his 9pm feed he successfully managed to take 40mL! I know it's a hard thing to grasp the significance unless you are in the situation- but it was a huge accomplishment. This morning's feed didn't go quite as great, but we're learning. The nurse practioner who came in this morning discussed that they are looking to wean him off the caffeine soon, since it stays in his system for approximately a week, and she mentioned if we are able to get feeding down and all that, we want to be sure he'll be able to do okay without the caffeine as a stimulant for breathing. He has to continue to work on his apnea/brady episodes. Fortunately he hasn't needed any assistance with them, he recovers in a second on his own- but it's still something he has to grow out of. The only other thing mentioned today was looking into getting the RSV vaccinations monthly for him since Kaely goes to school and could be a carrier (as most elementary school children are for all sorts of things). No desire to leave him vulnerable.

I'll update again later with any photos or news :)

Our home away from home... 

Who Are You Calling Wimpy???

So the common term is "Wimpy White Boy Syndrome" for premature baby boys who typically end up in the NICU. Apparently they have the hardest time adjusting and thriving, taking more time than little girls and those of other ethnicities. Go figure. However- I decided Chase is out to prove them all wrong. Sure things aren't perfect, but he keeps making strides to overcome some of those obstacles- impressing more than just the biased few.

Some frustrations continue over feeding- we have to compromise with him, realizing that preemies are different than full-term babies, and eating exhausts them. So having to accept that we'll probably have the NG tube in for a while, to make sure he can handle the feeding without stressing out. At least he's still making the effort and showing interest. He'll get there.

We were excited earlier today because they decided to discontinue the pulse oximeter, which is one less thing, but just prior to typing this, we had to put him back on since he's had a couple "episodes," which were minor, but still something that needs to be monitored. I was told that his immature nervous system causes the apnea, which causes the bradycardia when his oxygen levels are too low. So when he 'forgets' to breathe, his heart rate drops too low, at least until he takes another breath. The highs and lows seem to be exhausting today.

He did get to have a couple of books read to him by his big sister- which was hard enough to comprehend that she's big enough to be reading these books, plus adding in voices and personality. Time is flying!

We're aiming for a quiet day today, a lot going on and trying to keep the stress under control. Fortunately things like his peacefulness make the worries hide for a while...

Urban Camping

Happy Birthday Daddy!!! Sorry it's spent here in the hospital with no gifts or special dinners- we'll make up for it eventually :)

So for the past few days Dave and I have been joking about our "urban camping expedition-" complete with cans of soup, anything that can be shelf stable & microwavable or made with hot water. I have a whole stash hiding in our room. Doing dishes in the bathrooms (okay, just our mug or bowl usually), and taking advantage of whatever facilities we can. Best find was the shower in the nursing/pumping room (thanks Laura!), the room itself is awesome, privacy with a tv to relax a bit while doing my motherly duty. But without the shower- well- they would most definitely evict me. LOL. Luckily our room has the murphy bed, and well, the glider doesn't work the best for sleep, but it's better than nothing. I think I've finally adjusted to this "lifestyle" for now, and am making the most of it. At least there is internet! :) Or, as Dave's comparison of the movie "The Terminal" - even the lobby area of the hospital reminds me of an airport :)

Updates on Chase:

While he continues to show interest in nursing/bottle, he is still adjusting to being on the hospital's schedule for sleeping/eating- so he starts off great then drifts to sleep, leaving a leftover amount that still has to be pushed through his feeding tube. Somewhat frustrating, but as long as our nurses are patient with us (the process of trying both methods takes twice as much time), then we'll keep trying. He'll get the hang of it in no time. It looks like he's back to his birth weight- I'll have to calculate what he weighed in this morning (minus the diaper and shirt), but either way, it's at or above his birthweight, which, at 8 days now is pretty good news. We had an uneventful night, which is fantastic news, and am just enjoying the peace right now.

Happy 1 Week Birthday!

Has it really only been one week? I had a vague memory yesterday of standing in the registration desk of the hospital last week, pregnant, and how foreign that thought seems now... It is amazing how quickly your life can change.

Some more awesome victories over the past 24 hours, he was able to successfully breastfeed yesterday for a decent amount of time- which was still supplemented with the feeding tube since we didn't do a weight measurement this time around. But he shows interest and an increasing ability to coordinate the breathing/sucking/swallowing skills that we all take for granted. Then late last night our Angel nurse Ann went ahead and gave us the option to see how he'd do on the bottle- which a side note, I wasn't a big fan of introducing the bottle so soon, but it is a good way to show the doctors his ability to feed and flourish, which is a prerequisite for him to go home... So Dave had the honors, and sure enough, he did amazing- finished the whole amount in the "allotted" time frame, and even showed interest in more following. These are simple things that are second nature in a full-term newborn, but for him and other preemies are huge developmental skills he needs to display.

Sooooo... looks like we may be able to remove the feeding tube altogether sometime soon- we're going to be doing another bottle feeding this morning- followed by breastfeeding later- if he keeps it up he can stop pulling the tube out on his own (which, yes, he continues to do- twice this morning alone and it's only 11:00am). He is also getting close to being back to his birth weight- he weighed in at 3lbs 15oz last night, so a couple ounces away from his birth weight of 4lbs 2 oz... seeing our friends Jay & Sarah's baby girl Landry, weighing in at 8 lbs, the other day was so bizarre- how big a "normal" sized baby appears now. Also, he continues to "request" for his incubator temperature to be lowered as he is maintaining his body temperature. Once he can maintain at an air temperature of 78degrees, they will let him go to an open crib. He started off last week at around 85 degrees, and is now lowered down to 79 degrees- almost there!!! Also just discovered his lost umbilical cord in his diaper- now he has a cute little belly button!

For those who wonder what it takes for him to go home- this is what was stated in the Parent Education and Discharge Planning sheet given to us yesterday. It says
"Your baby will be ready for discharge when he:
-Is able to maintain his body temperature in an open crib
-Is actively gaining weight on breast or bottle feedings
-Weighs around 4 lbs or more
-Actively participates in all nipple/breast feedings
-Stable in room air for at least 24 hours
-Is not having any apnea and bradycardia spells

While he is so close to accomplishing all these, I have to realize he may still be kept here longer- some say it may be a month before he can come home- but he surprises us each day- so one can hope and pray!

I'm sooooo proud and amazed by this little boy!!!

One Day Closer...

We have had such a good 48 hours with Chase- he is officially off his bili-blanket and lamp, off his nasal canula, and cleared to start trying to breastfeed- which if he can get the hang of means one less tube out, and one step closer to coming home... The stress from a couple days ago is lifting- cautiously optimistic- but taking every victory I can get. He is a fighter, and giving attitude which can only be expected between Dave and I ;)

We are taking our CPR & Carseat Safety class in a little bit- which is required of all parents to be able to be discharged. I figure take it as soon as possible so that the day we get the news we can leave there is nothing holding us back.

Here is the pic of the day- hard to get good shots without a flash- but still... good days ahead!

The First Few Days...

So- an update to his first few days- being a preemie and diagnosed as "IUGR"- we had some challenges on hand- seeing as although he's about 34 weeks gestationally (if he had been able to stay in the womb) he has the size & behaviors of what is typical for a 31 week baby. Initially he only had monitors on, and then a feeding tube (NG) since I requested no bottles (trying to remain exclusively breastfeeding for when we get out of here), which either way it would've been necessary since he still hasn't gotten the hang of relying exclusively on bottle/breast for the amount he needs.

After the first day, he lost about 3 oz, which was a bit too fast of a loss, so we increased his food and added some calories- and now he's back on the upswing. Had some challenges with his immature breathing patterns- experiencing apnea since the central nervous system is still working on maturing, so the alarms terrified us as his oxygen saturation levels would drop, and the other day he was experiencing bradycardia due to his brief "spells" of apnea. They just "forget" to breathe when they are this little. So they implemented a high-flow nasal canula to help "remind" him to keep breathing, and caffeine given as a stimulant. So far this has greatly improved his overall stats, and we had a wonderful day yesterday without any scares.

He did come back with a mild case of jaundice, so he's been hanging out under the phototherapy lamps with the "mask" or "glasses" he hates and continues to pull off (along with the nasal canula, NG/OG tubes, etc). Our wonderful nurse also found a phototherapy blanket that allows us to take him out of the lamp and be able to hold & kangaroo with him- which has also helped in his (I think) and our anxiety levels. I cannot tell you how therapeutic just being able to hold him is. On the fun side- the "blanket" makes him look like a Glo-worm - and makes me smile :)

So those have been the past few days and why I haven't had time to really respond or talk to anyone. Between anxiety, fears, and then the rigorous routine of pumping for at least 30 minutes, then being with him for 30-45 min for each feeding- both are every 3 hours now. Eating & sleeping has taken a backseat, but with a "good" day like yesterday, we could finally breathe ourselves and get some much needed rest. So today is a new day, and we will take every good minute we can... I'll end with a sweet pic of Dad & Baby Glo-worm ;)

(and yes it's hard to take a picture without a flash, but trying not to irritate him (yet)) 

The Day of Delivery

So because of paperwork, bloodwork, prep time, etc- we had to arrive at the hospital by 4am Friday morning. Add stress and travel time, and that left us with about 3 hours of sleep. After participating in certain procedures at school, I swore I'd never have a million things done- however, I suffered through the general C-section, having an epidural ( I HATE the feeling of losing control), having blood work attempted to be drawn while dehydrated (since I was NPO for at least 10 hours prior)- so several blown veins before we found a good spot, and then the infamous catheter. I couldn't contain my nerves, and if it weren't for Dave being there, I don't know what I would've done. Time flew and before I knew it they were wheeling me into the OR. Dave was able to be there by my side and I experienced the outer body experience of feeling someone pulling, tugging, and removing something from me- but without the pain or actual sensations... It was horribly terrifying. However, when I heard his first cry, I lost it. Dave was able to capture some on video, which we posted one of the clips before. He was small (4 lbs, 2oz) but was active, alert, and overall looking healthy. Aside from my own stress and trauma of having to wait in post-op while allowing the epidural to wear off, Dave was able to go down with Chase to be set up in the NICU, cleaned and kept for observation. I was a mess, but determined to see my baby was in a chair by 6pm that night. By the next morning I was walking the chair back and forth between my floor and his, doing everything I could to be there. The nurses think I'm nuts. But seeing him and holding him was (and is) better than any pain medication I could have. I was fairly out of it that day, and don't recall exactly all the details of conversations, but I do know how it felt to hold him... what a surreal day to survive!