And the Heavyweight Champion Is...

He's such a stud :) Even though I knew he's been growing well, I didn't know he's been doing so well! At just before "2 months" he's almost doubled his birth weight, he weighed in at 8 lbs even (and that's after he spit up half his breakfast all down my shirt as soon as I got to the doctor), 20 3/4" in length, and his head was 36 cm... he had to get all his immunizations and vaccinations which was no fun- poor baby! But it's best for him to get protected. I'm so proud of him! He's still "small" for his age- even adjusted age- but he's on the charts around 25th percentile (for his adjusted age), and showing awesome growth. So we just keep it up! We were told to go ahead and try giving him cereal around the 3-4 month mark, before his next checkup, it's kind of surreal seeing how old he's getting already! But on the same note, that it was only a few weeks ago we were in the hospital and worried to death. We are so very blessed!

Here are his chubby little legs with his Scooby-Doo bandaids :(

Let It Go...

Seriously! I feel almost like doing a movie montage when going through my closet- and all the decades of clothes I have. I can remember almost every reason I bought each dress, or pair of shoes, or half the other events attached to the rags... but that's just it- I need to let it all go! Look to the future and lighten the load. So, in my typical fashion, I dumped everything in the middle of the room as a way to force myself to deal with the disaster- since our bedroom furniture is in Miami, I've had most of my non-maternity clothes in suitcases for the past 5 months, and just worked out of our closet. So this is part of what I had to deal with:

After finally buckling down and focusing this afternoon, I was able to separate at least half of my clothes & shoes into a pile of things to give away to Goodwill/Salvation Army. I know I could probably ebay some of it, but at the end of the day, I just need to let it go!!! So more than 20 pairs of shoes, dozens of business clothes,  and tons of out of style outfits... it has now taken up almost the entire interior of the truck- but - it feels awesome!

and better yet, I was able to actually make use of the shelves and organizers in my half of our closet to finish the organization project. Far from perfect- and I'm in desperate need of some new things eventually- but wow! How nice it is to slowly work on my self-improvement project.

On that note- I did also tackle Chase's room, organized his clothes, diapers, etc- but that didn't take nearly as long :) He was not so happy about my diverted attention- it was a lesson in putting him down today to accomplish things- not very easy to do, and resulted in me having to carry him halfway to Kaely's school and back when I walked the mile each way to pick her up. It's been an exhausting day!

Tomorrow we have Chase's 2 month checkup and a slew of immunizations. I anticipate a long day with him, since I'm sure he won't feel so great after them, but I'll update on his growth! I'm thinking heavy!!! :) Can't wait to see his results!

Watching him snooze after this exhausting day makes me want to curl up in a ball and join him! Have a great evening!

Thinking Back...For Crying Out Loud!

As we had a mildly fussy day yesterday (honestly it doesn't really phase me, I don't notice it unless someone else mentions him crying), I thought back to the days of the NICU, and how the kid never cried! I recall saying something about it, and being reassured that soon enough he'd be crying like any other baby. But honestly, the only time he'd really cry was when he was being stuck in the foot for blood, or during diaper changes... the last days when he started to nurse exclusively and was able to begin his own schedule- then he definitely found his lungs- but before that he was so peaceful... LOL.

But no, I embrace every fussy day at home compared to a quiet day in the NICU (no offense)... I can't say I blame him though- no other way to communicate that hey! I'm hungry darnit! Or get this wet thing off me, or I need quiet! I'm exhausted!... I'd be frustrated too.

On the bright side I'm learning certain tricks that help- not always, but have begun going in order of trying... most are obvious, but some I stumbled upon by accident...

1. Feed him. Almost always solves the problem. But if he just ate and it isn't advisable to continue feeding him...
2. Change him- this usually occurs before feeding, but still worth checking
3. Burp him- even if he's already burped, or if it seems like it's been a long time- chances are there's a bubble in there hurting his tummy
4. Hold him- if he's put down... if it is not "mom" holding him, go on to #5
5. Give him to mom... he's still in the mama phase- and usually just being on me will calm him down- especially if there's been more than one person around that is not me, Kaely or Dave.
6. Swaddle him- this is for sleep purposes- for a naptime issue, it helps a ton
7. Turn on the giraffe- that makes the waterfall sounds, among others, this has to go with the swaddle otherwise it doesn't always work
8. Vacuum, blowdry your hair, turn on the shower, or put in the (V8 engine) truck- the white noise of these almost always calms him down and knocks him out... the only way I can drive long distances, shower, clean house or attempt to look human
9. Cover his ears- I find by holding him against my chest and placing my hand over his ears (while supporting his head anyway), it helps muffle the sounds and relax him- kinda like how I place a pillow over my head when I have a migraine to block out light & sound
10. Give him a bath- no, not a sponge bath- but a really warm bath where he is partially submerged. He absolutely loves the feeling of being in the water- it is a great thing :)

Anyhow- every baby is different, as is every day- but to keep from losing your mind, it's worth a try :)

This was last night after he ate a good 2+oz of milk w/the fortifier (lots o' calories - so daddy could help feed)-waiting on more milk and we'd tried half of those things... screaming bloody murder, so opted for the bath since he needed one anyway- this was the result
Happy baby = Happy Mom & Dad

A Quiet Sunday In

I used to think boredom was possible- and dreaded- but after the past few months of craziness, a day like today- with no particular plans or juggling or homework or need to leave the house... well, it's divine. To top it off, it's dreary and overcast- making it even easier to sit around all morning in pajamas- and has allowed us all to sleep in until 9!!! Woah, that's been maybe the 2nd time in months. It's also Oscar Sunday, which means cheesy indulgences in fame and fashion (and I'll add in food!), gives me an excuse or two to grab some sparkling juice and whip up a fancy dish... or order in!

I almost feel guilty for lounging around- but not quite. I think a few hours to recharge, veg, and snuggle with the boys is much needed and appreciated. Even Chase agrees with the idea of napping, and apparently is burying his head and snoozing along with us :) So my to-do list of things that desperately need accomplished can just wait another day, and we'll enjoy doing nothing!

Baby Swap!

Saturday, Feburary 25th

Chase Alexander - 8 weeks, 1 day    Nathaniel Regan - 4 days :)

 Our crazy Saturday has been one of the busiest days in months! But, when you look at those two boys, you can't help but smile :) Hopefully the cousins will have a chance to grow up together and be best of friends- it'll be crazy to see the differences over the days/weeks/years... Admittedly, Chase doesn't necessarily act like a "typical" 2 month old, and Nathan definitely doesn't look/act like a "typical" newborn...

My poor sister is going through the same post-c-section recovery, but unlike me dealing with the drama of the NICU, she has to feed her baby 24/7 from the start- so exhaustion is an understatement! Hopefully we can team up and help each other wherever we can. While this is my second go-around, each and every baby is different, so I can only give so much advice- these boys definitely have a mind of their own!

and yes, the photo below we swapped boys :)

My mom also had a chance to meet Nathan for the first time, and see Chase for the second time- her first two grandsons :)  The men/daddies also had a chance to swap for a minute to see the difference in the two boys- craziness! After she had 5 kids (OUCH)... me being the oldest, my sister Raeshel (above) the next, then two more girls, and the last, a boy... I cannot imagine! Us girls were so mean to our little brother, I feel a little bad- hopefully we'll make up for it with our sons! 

  

Hoping for many more years of fun to come!

Happy 8 Weeks!

How many days??? Oh yeah- 8 weeks old! (I wonder if it will ever stop irritating me with the question & dirty looks about how young he looks)... oh well :)

Aside from his crankiness largely related to gassy issues, he's been wonderful- and I think I'm going to look into the "gas drops"- just considering if it's safe enough for him- and if they will help. Hmmm. His tummy solidified the decision to skip the SoBe Food & Wine Festival- which is something I'm dying to go to- especially since a lot of my favorite chefs will be there. But since I need to watch what I eat, I guess I'll wait until next year- sniff sniff... 

8 weeks... and I feel like I've aged at least 5 years- again- anyone wanna help with a makeover??? Much needed! I made the mistake of taking a photo to use for those "virtual makeovers" online, and truly took the picture about 20 times over again thinking something was wrong- I didn't even recognize myself! LOL. So, my mission is to continue with the health & fitness, and try to work in relaxation to try to get some energy back into my body :) 

Chase has his 2 month appointment next week, and we'll be getting the updates on weight & length and all the good stuff... we're working on getting more activity in his schedule too- he definitely can scoot himself all over, usually requires him being mad, but hey- it's motivation :) We're still stuck between his real/adjusted age- so he's acting somewhere between a typical newborn and 2 month old. My little monkey :)

Hungry Hungry Hippo...

Okay- while it did remind me of my childhood game... was referring more to our little hippo- and how I swear I don't think I've seen him refuse food in the past month. It amazes me that no matter how long it's been since he's eaten, as long as he's awake, he's hungry. I don't know how many times I've thought/said- no, he must just be tired or maybe his tummy hurts- but without fail- offer him "food" and he is happy as pie :) 

Between that, and my frustrations with his "solution" to dealing with a heavy letdown (you mommy's know what I mean)- so instead of having a good latch from beginning to end, he starts- allows letdown to happen, then backs off and looks like he's drinking from a water fountain instead- then he'll nurse normally after a minute of doing that. This all soaks me in the process- I'm running out of outfits! Fortunately, karma helps me out by spraying him in the face if he pulls back to goof around... sorry- is that mean? I guess since my role for the moment is pretty much just to feed him, I find it therapeutic to look at the humor where I can find it :) 

It's okay, I'm loving every part of it (almost every part), and am amazed daily by how much he's growing and maturing... I am a horrible aunt, because I couldn't even put Chase down long enough to hold little Nathan... maybe next time if my sister is feeling better- we can swap babies for a minute :) 

Anticipating Baby Nathaniel Today!

Chase's cousin is on his way into the world today (unfortunately through a planned c-section since this is my sister's first baby and he's looking to be around 9+ pounds already)... I will be posting pics and updates later once we get back, but I'm wishing my lil' sis the best today! Hard to believe we were thinking the boys could've been born around the same day/week- and here Chase will be 8 weeks on Friday! On the bright side, I'm excited about seeing my L&D nurses who saved my sanity when I was stuck in the hospital back in November- they are an amazing team over there!

Here he is! My little nephew- that's right- I finally have a nephew!!! Nathaniel Regan- born at 4:45pm today, weighing in at 9lbs 14oz!!! and 19 1/2"... he is the same length as Chase, but a solid 3 lbs heavier (as of today- LOL)... isn't he adorable!

Awwww... so happy for my lil' sis!

(Kaely, my sister's sister-in-law, Baby Nathan, Baby Chase & Me... (and no Chase was not happy about a pic))

Weekend Reflections

Well, after a long weekend (trying to post posts on the blog from Dave's phone) we've learned a lot about Chase's mischievous sides... I find it amazing he was quiet/slept the 250 miles up and down to Miami, but when we wanted to go 10 miles down the road for the art festival, he screamed bloody murder. Or, he will sleep peacefully anywhere else, but if we wanted to go for a walk outside of the apartment- he would cry the entire trip down the hall- letting all the neighbors know he was there- but be quiet once we were outdoors when it didn't matter if he cried. Night-time? He'd try to stay up... as soon as the sun was up? He'd pass out... AHHHH!  It was kind of amusing though since there was pretty much nothing we could do but sit and stare at him all day as it was :) Totally worth it to have more than a day or two with Dave, and nice to get outdoors and walk around, even if to grab an iced tea from Starbucks and sit outside- Chase was happy there ;)

Here is a few of the beach across from the apartment- a fairly short walk to get there (just not stroller friendly, and no we weren't going to take him into the direct sunlight- he stayed under the shade in the stroller).

Enough driving for a day, and time to go shower off the projectile spit up I just was doused with... :) Enjoy your Fat Tuesday!!!

Don't Eat The Fish!

Ahhhhhh! Perhaps its unfair to blame the fish, but dear Lord! After a nice meal of mahi mahi enjoyed overlooking the water, turned out to be a rough night in paradise with Mr. Alexander that left me wondering what in earth??? Diaper cleaned? Check. Being held? Check. Being fed? Check. Ahhhhh! What is left? He was fussing and squirming and scratching the heck out of me trying to climb up me... hours later of zombie-like attempts to console him covered in spit up, I finally gave up. Monday morning alarms going off (don't the phones know it's a holiday???), I left Dave to try to calm him, change his hundredth diaper, and me to go find the solace of coffee and cookies for a minute. Now that its daylight and he has eaten (again!) He is passed out peacefully while we look like we got hit by a bus... ahhhh the joys of parenthood!

So maybe it was the fish upsetting his stomach and creating a monster, or maybe it was just my time to pay for having a baby that is usually fairly angelic ;) Either way we're tiptoe-ing around holding our breaths, wondering how to spend the day. Funny how we forget these days years later ... oh well, sleep deprived or not, life is good- just don't eat the fish!

The Reward for Acting Like a Clown

As Dave and I were attempting to visit the art festival in Coconut Grove yesterday, we quickly realized Chase had other plans... crying the entire way we found ourselves desperate enough to stop at a CVS parking lot to feed him (again) and see if he'd calm down. 10 minutes later he was happy as anything. I found myself in the backseat of the car waiting on Dave to come back so I began making stupid faces and noises to kill time, and was rewarded with huge eyes, cooing and a few crooked smiles. Its crazy to think he's now getting to the point where he interacts and reacts to those crazy antics. Totally worth feeling silly- the alert time is getting more at fun! I really need to set up a tripod and try to catch some of those moments on film- he's amazing!

Everyday is a new adventure...

Back to Sleep

The safest position for an infant to sleep at night is on their backs... but what happens when they learn to roll over on their sides and stomachs? I thought of this overnight as I watched Chase scoot and wiggle until he had moved over several inches and turned on his side. I of course had to laugh at his stubborn determination, but then wondered what are you supposed to do? I guess I could swaddle and strap him down... but I don't see either of us getting much sleep then...

All is good, I can't wait to see how much he weighs in at next time, I feel he's been going through a growth spurt recently, as well.as scaring me by sleeping more at night. We've actually had stretches of 4-plus hours the past couple nights, it is amazing!

In any case, hope everyone is enjoying a 3little day weekend, hope to get new photos up soon!

Baaaa... Purrrrrr... Oohhh reeee.... eeeehhhhh

Yes, that's right, animal sounds- LOL. Around 4am I was struggling to open my eyes wide enough to change a diaper by nightlight, and since I had no sense of vision working for me, enjoyed the sense of sound. All the noises this kid makes- especially when he's hungry and when he's eating- are enough to make a children's book with sounds. I decided that's my next project, to just record these random moments and put them to pictures/story for him later on. Haha... So when he gets worked up, he sounds like a goat. When he's eating and gurgling/snorting, he starts sounding like a purring cat. When he's hungry and has the pacifier in his mouth he makes the sound like that commercial with the pig- oooh reee, oooh ree, oooooh ree...

Hmmm - what else to do with our time? :)

Anyhow- Happy 7 Weeks!!! Here a few pictures I had posted on the slideshow at the top of the page, but figured I'd add to the post so it's easier to see. Enjoy!

Annoyances- Blaming it on Post-Partum Hormones

First- I'll preface by saying Chase & Kaely are most amazing- even when I'm ready to scream- they are adorable and make my world spin :)

That being said, I have found my patience & annoyance levels at an all-time high... for instance:

1. IRS website states my tax return will now take an additional 2 weeks to be received due to "processing delays"- really??? Lovely.
2. Reality tv shows- okay, guilty as charged I've been watching The Bachelor- even though I think it's cheesy and all- but after the idiot chose that psycho model chick- I was disgusted even more. Truly- I just think men need to find their other head to think with sometimes... UGH
3. People who I cannot please or make happy no matter what I do- I just don't have the energy to spend trying to guess what will make others happy- I have enough of that with Chase... Right now I am in a very selfish place wanting to feel like myself again and soaking up every second with baby boy- which means it's hard to share him, and when I do, it's not easy to sit & relax, and I know I act like a crazy person and not always the friendliest- but it's just part of me trying to adjust to life right now...
4. Annoyed that my husband is 250 miles away for work- and that facing the choices of moving make me want to have a melt-down.
5. Nothing fits. I happily sold all my maternity clothes on ebay this week, but going through my closet (ok, suitcases) was depressing- I want to throw everything away.
6. The dogs need a bath and groomed so bad- so every time they lick their paws (or other regions) or follow me around it drives me batty. I love them dearly, but being around them 24/7 is grating on my nerves.
7. Physician bills- I got a bill the other day from my doctor for co-pays from 5 months ago- apparently they decided it was needed? Would've been nice had I known sooner- so when I get a call to pay it right away after getting the bill the day before- well... they can wait. Especially now that the IRS is taking forever too- grrr
8.Had to add after walking to get Kaely from school that I am extremely annoyed at both the substitute teacher and Kaely for apparently losing their minds... she actually walked out of the classroom without pants on- only tights and a shirt- uhhhh- WTH??? She was wearing a dress with tights this morning, and apparently had a shirt packed in her bag- which she proceeded to change into before leaving class. In the picture the only difference is I made her tie her dress around her waist. I'm gonna lose my mind!!!

9.Annoyed that I am annoyed with things... I hate feeling cranky and frustrated- it's not "me" I guess- and just needed to vent...

This wasn't so much a "Chase" post- but a fair warning to other new mommys- that I guess you aren't alone, and a combination of trying to regain your physical self, and deal with lingering hormones, and have your entire world change- well... I guess we all get a little cranky sometimes...

So- to cheer myself up- this was just a moment of cuteness from Chase:

Mission: The 15 Pound Countdown

Okay, a bit of vanity kicking in- and after my appointment with the doctor I am finally cleared of all restrictions- wahoo! To go along with that they had me step on the scale- gee thanks! I was kind of bummed to see I still have about 15+ pounds to go before I'm "back" - but at least I can be proactive about it. I know I have to take it easy getting back into things, but I'm so excited to try to get some energy and strength regained! So I guess this is my way of writing down my goal as a visual reminder & inspiration... the timeline? By our anniversary (March 25th)- I want to look beautiful & sexy- I keep looking at our honeymoon pictures and that is my driving force! We shall see...

First step accomplished? Walking to pick up Kaely at school yesterday gave a good solid walk. First downfall? Oreos and milk last night- hahaha...

Chase gets to enjoy the perks of me being more active- getting outside for long walks in the gorgeous weather for one. And hopefully a mommy who isn't as tired & cranky anymore...

Chase is starting to engage more in eye contact and being aware of us- and starting to make some really funny noises on top of some cooing... is it bad I start cracking up when he gets downright impatient & indignant when he's hungry? He squeals and screeches, and it's just really entertaining- sorry :) For now he's snoozing- he's been up most of the morning- but starting to fill out the newborn clothes!

Happy Valentine's Day!

Oh the fun of Valentine's Day... scrambling to get the cards & candy for Kaely's class (try saying that 5 times fast)- especially after the child decided to give away 2 of the suckers the day before- so now she is short... I wanted to scream- I couldn't let her take in the cards without enough candy for all the kids, but I couldn't let her go in empty-handed... so I scrambled and improvised. So frustrating to hear "uhhh- I forgot I wasn't supposed to get into the candy"- riiiiiiighhhhttt...

Then we have my fantastic appointment for the morning (my 6 week checkup- just what every woman wants)... and will have to enjoy sending messages and thoughts back and forth with Dave since he's a good 3 hours away. So- it'll be me & the kids tonight for a Valentine's dinner complete with mac & cheese! or maybe I'll go out on a limb and order pizza... haha.

I can't complain though, because there is nothing better (maybe sharing the same rank as) than snuggling with my baby boy all day- and I'm so grateful he's here, healthy, and growing stronger every day. Whenever I get bummed or frustrated I just have to hold him to bring myself back- amazing the power packed into his 6 pound body :) Much love to all my family- how lucky am I!

Completely unrelated to anything baby-wise- but this show cracks me up and has been my indulgent "me" time I spend everyday- and this is why... brought laughter to my day:



My favorite Valentine's Day clip... all in good fun!!! Happy Valentine's Day everyone!

Diapers: Generic vs. Namebrand

The big debate! I am someone who does not particularly enjoy shopping- the "high" I get from shopping is in the hunt for bargains- and in how much I can save. So, when it comes to diapers & other disposable items that are ultimately pooped in, it's hard to spend the extra money for the name brand. When Kaely was a baby, for nearly the first year, the generic brand Target had were manufactured by Pampers I believe. It was the same quality- for almost half the price- awesome. Then they changed their manufacturer, and since it's been... well... spotty. But to save at least $3 each time (based on around 30 diapers)- it is hard to splurge.

That is, until, you get poop leaked on you. Or pee for that matter. Which is, of course, what happened to me the other day. Plus, all his lovely "mustard" diapers you can see through the back the color you're about to discover when you open it up. Yuck. So yesterday I went to Target while Dad hung out with Chase, and I stood in that stinkin' aisle staring and comparing and debating on whether or not to pay the extra for the diapers I know worked really well. I mean- it's "only" an extra $3, right? But when you go through about 8-12 diapers a day- a pack every 2-3 days- that really adds up! So 10 minutes later, after picking up and putting down the different brands- I gave up and (even with my $3 coupon and 10% off) grudgingly decided to splurge. Am I really that much of a cheapskate that it's such a big deal??? haha. Maybe.

So, I have a consumer test going on at the house with all the brands- seeing which one really works best- and if I can get away with saving money for a tad lower quality- or if it really is worth spending the extra.
Oh the joys of a baby butt!!!

In any case, we have been hiding all morning because it's freezing out! Here's a glimpse into what we do in the mornings- just staring and laughing at each other :) He's getting so big!!!

Happy Due Date!

6 1/2 weeks later... we finally reached his original estimated due date. More or less the whole "adjusted age" deal is based off his gestational age and estimated due date when considering milestones such as holding his head up, crawling, walking, etc. This way he's not considered abnormal if he's not reaching these by his "calendar" age- since he still had to develop as much as a baby still in the womb. So if you consider the adjusted age vs. his calendar age, he's pretty far ahead of the curve- definitely acts older than a newborn, but maybe not as "mature" as a full-term 6 week old. Either way, he's got the eating thing down, we've been doing tummy time and other mild-stimulating activities during his wakeful periods now, and seeing how much stronger and alert he is everyday.

I think we will be packing up his preemie clothes this week- a couple more outfits have been tossed in the "does not fit" pile, hard to believe how quickly it all happens! Not to mention this weather is confusing me when trying to make sure we have outfits that fit & are appropriate..

I will work on officially getting our birth announcements out this week- of course if you are reading this blog you obviously know he's here and see the latest & greatest photos- but it's still the old-fashioned thing I have to do! Thanks for all your patience & understanding in general- nothing about the past month or two is normal or planned :)

Happy Sunday everyone!

"Life doesn't always turn out exactly how you plan it, sometimes, just sometimes, it turns out better"

2/10/12

To say this past year has not gone as "planned" is an understatement... Chase- and everything about him- has taught us that you can plan all you want, but something bigger than us has a different idea. We had all these plans about the timing of our wedding, school, jobs, even a ballpark of when we'd ideally like a baby to enter our lives.

I don't think one of those things went "as planned"- the wedding was supposed to be a different date/time/location at one point- but I think how it turned out was better than I had envisioned. School took forever to get into my program, and I had every intention of going to a different school - but clearly that didn't work as I'd thought it would- the program I ended up with was perfect for how our year turned out. Our jobs? hahaha. The frustration & all that went with the disaster that was our jobs early last year, then me being fired after being put on bedrest and all that drama... well,  it worked out for the best on my end- how else would I have been able to spend an entire month at the hospital with Chase- giving him the support and presence not everyone can provide- and enjoy every day with him since? Dave's job down south has been the hardest part of it all, but the insurance alone has saved us- seeing some of these hospital bills trickle in has been an eye opener. The distance has made us value each other (I believe) and realize that anything that comes easy just isn't worth it- we have to work that much harder to fight for what we have. Still not sure the lesson or apparent end-result of the job/location/move- but I know there is a reason behind that as well.

The biggest "unplanned-planned" event was Chase himself. We knew we wanted a baby, we just had no idea he'd arrive so soon- both in his surprising us back in June with knowing he existed, and then his impatient arrival in December to be in our arms. He has turned us on our heads- as a couple, a family, and in searching our individual hearts. I thought I knew what I wanted and when- but so much of what was given to us instead was better than I could have imagined it. He has made us realize what is most important when you strip away everything else. My desire to be a nurse has increased ten-fold, but the timing of that has become the least important. Knowing that not everything has to happen "now" - and maybe there's something else I'm meant to be doing and somewhere else I need to be.

The grass is always greener- but all it takes is a little reminder to remember just how fortunate you really have it.

Feeling Human Again May Take A Village...

Getting motivated to take a few photos with Kaely & Chase meant getting the energy up to straighten my hair & put on makeup... standing back (an hour or so later) and looking in the mirror, I think, wow- what a difference- I look half human! It is so sad that I've come to the point in my life that I have to rely on makeup to look alive (I have faith this is temporary- once I can sleep again and be more active I think I'll be a smidge better). How on earth did I ever do this every day for work? Do my hair, do my makeup, get dressed, etc? When I walked out in the sundress over the weekend for the photos with Dave & I, I believe his exact words were "Woah- I know what I'm getting you for Valentine's Day" -as he's laughing at me, I am beyond white- more like translucent (his gift would be a spray tan). Come on, Chase is darker than I am- hahaha. Point is though- that as silly and superficial as all this is, it makes me feel soooo much better to feel human and feminine, and just wish it didn't take so much effort!

The past week or so has inspired me to truly make a date (yes, I wish it were with my husband- working on that part) for myself. To get out for an hour or two and get pampered. Fortunately I get the pleasure of making it a girl's afternoon as well- and you know? Something as simple as planning to get our toes done is nearly as exciting as anticipating Christmas morning. So my advice to new moms is to eventually build up the confidence enough to escape for a little bit of time to try to remember what you used to look and feel like. I will never be the same person- that is okay- but I don't want to lose myself entirely.

Lucky for me though- Chase doesn't seem to mind if my hair is a mass of curls, or all you see are freckles all over my face, or heck, even if I smell like milk all day :) So since he's the one who sees me most, I say it's not so bad. My lovely daughter, however, likes to remind me of the changes- hence the infamous questions of "why do you still have a belly?" or "why are you wearing your pajamas still?"... ehhhhh... oh well :)

Happy 6 weeks my beautiful baby boy!!!

Atrocious Apricots!

Dried apricots- a handy snack that's quick and easy, with a bit of tart to go with the sweet- I thought it was a decent thing to have around. However, first, I realized that my allergy to sulfa/sulfur started kicking in since they use sulfites to preserve the dried fruit- and between the headaches and stomach aches, I figured I should consider tossing them. But the clincher was opening up a generous diaper with yellow poop that smells like apricots- Gross! This has gone on for about 24 hours now- and if a person can really eat apricots (or anything else) that ultimately smells like poop- then I guess more power to you. BLECH. I just can't wait until he starts eating solids... will definitely have to make sure that the trash is taken out frequently for that. For now though, I'm waiting for the association to leave my nostrils :)

On another note- ummmm- I've wanted to serve jury duty for about 13 years now- never have gotten called until now. The notice came when I was at the hospital and had no clue about it. By the time we got home, settled, and I sorted through the stack of mail- the required 10 day notice for request for excuse had passed. Then I try to send anyway and realize I have no stamp- so another day goes by. Luckily I found there is a place you can go online to fill out the request form, but since it has been less than 10 days... oh boy. So I call in to the line last night to see if my "number" is even called- and yep- go figure it is. There is no way of leaving Chase with anyone (no offense to anyone- just not possible yet with him being so young and all), plus I don't have a pump or place to store milk if I were to be there for a potential 8+ hours, then there's Kaely, we no longer use the before/after school service and so there's nothing for her either, and there's no way of taking him with me. So I'm just praying I don't get charged with contempt of court if they decided the notice wasn't given in enough time. AHHHHH!

Okay, a belated pic to make me smile in the meantime :)

Our New Year's Eve-Eve Baby!

What To Do When You're Housebound???

I'm getting better about putting Chase down while he snoozes (unless I'm joining him in a much needed rest!), in order to do things like cook, shower, clean up a bit, etc. Now that I am getting back into a loose routine, I'm itching to get out! But we are still looking at a couple more weeks of restriction regarding going out or having visitors- just trying to give him the required time to build up immunity and all that. Which of course makes all the silly stuff like grabbing a movie, or getting my hair cut, sound so appealing- simply because it's not the ideal timing yet. As mad as I was at Netflix (price increases out the ... yeah...), I'm tempted to sign up again. And online shopping?? hahaha... No, I haven't given in to either temptation, but it does make me wonder what other people do during this time.

Unfortunately, the most appealing thing to do appears to be cleaning the house (sooooo needed!), but that's no fun! I would love for one of those mobile dog-groomers to appear and make the dogs hair- and smell-free again. Cooking? Well, did that yesterday, and I really need to eat the food that's left over. Sigh... no attention span yet to study for next semester in school, or to even read a fiction novel. One more week before I should be able to exercise (yoga mat purchased and ready to go!), and hoping to get Kaely a new bike soon so she can cruise and I can walk this stuff off! Until then??? I am one big bum!

Oh well- guess I'll do what I do best right now- feed and stare at Chase all day- hehehe... works for me!

On a side note- boredom has led me to enter a couple photo contests on the BabyCenter website- take a look and vote if you care to! :) 

http://community.babycenter.com/contest/entry/52829/

http://community.babycenter.com/contest/entry/52841/taylor_swift_look-alike..._her_idol

Milk- It Does A Body Good!

Getting ready for Chase's ... ummm... 1 month? 6 week? 2 week? ... I don't know- Doctor's appointment this morning, I went to put him in one of his onesie/sleepers, and there was no way it was going to fit. I hadn't noticed it as much when I use the 2-piece outfits, but this time... haha.

So the verdict is in, over the course of 2 weeks since we came home (seriously?? Only 2 weeks???) He has gained a full pound, 2 inches, and 1 cm head circumference- not too shabby!!! Of course that means he's about the size Dave & I were when we were born- 19 1/2" length, 6 lbs even (we were both 6lb 10oz), and not sure our head circumference, but Chase is up to 34cm... So our job is to keep eating! Before we know it, he'll catch up in no time at all. They say they should gain around 1 oz a day- he's 39 days- which 2 lbs is 32 oz- account for his weight loss initially- and you have him holding onto that average. Figuring he's 39 weeks gestation- would have potentially been born sometime around now, and possibly been around this size- soooooo- not too bad :)

Of course, to others he's still just a "peanut"- but hey- to us he's huge! As we were out at the doctors today, I was asked how old he is, so I reply "Almost 6 weeks"- to which I was asked, "You mean 6 days??" Uh- no... oh well- lol- guess I should get used to it for a while... looking forward to a nap before we get Kaely, the rainy day is helping lull us both to sleep :)

Wanted: Invention or Just a Little Bit of Magic

Throughout months of bedrest I thought about all sorts of inventions that needed to be brought to life out of sheer necessity to survive being couch/bed-bound... now with the little man it's the same crazy ideas all over again. Technically I'm still stuck with the 10 pound weight limit and other physical restrictions, add on the whole- "I've got a sleeping/nursing baby on me and I just got comfortable" -and trying to do something as simple as grabbing the remote control that has just fallen to the floor becomes a physical challenge. LOL.

Think along the lines of "The Clapper"- which- I am seriously debating on purchasing, but how many appliances can I really attach it to? I've already taken advantage of the timer setting on the coffee maker- that's my inspiration to get out of bed in the morning- after I've hit snooze a few times. I envision "Bewitched" - wiggle my nose and my water is refilled! Or my cereal that is still sitting on the counter magically gets milk poured into it and floats over to my side table so I can actually eat breakfast. Or the dogs- oh geez- the dogs are able to walk themselves and have a portioned food dispenser (can't have one of those things made for cats, because they would gorge themselves and eat the entire bag if they could- then refer back to the walking issue). Oh- let's add in a chef too- because even a sandwich is a pain to make- and I do love to cook- but not for myself. Can't forget the chauffeur, someone who can sit in that hateful line at the school to pick up Kaely, and can make runs to the store for a Slurpee, or a pack of gum- stupid stuff that used to be simple. Oh- and most importantly a Stylist, because the idea of blow-drying/straightening my hair and putting on makeup is a monumental task I usually only do on Fridays before Dave comes home- LOL. I sit there and think how nice it would be to sit in a chair and sip on a nice beverage while someone does it for me. :)

Let me acknowledge we've had lots of family & friends offer their help- even to do half the stuff I'm whining about- so thank you. But in reality, no, I have to suck it up and do it myself, because otherwise what's left? Me sitting here staring at Chase all day- which I'd gladly do- but is not realistic. Plus, it is a big challenge everytime the schedule is interrupted when we have guests or have to go somewhere, and it takes hours or a full day to get him back to a normal/health eating & sleeping schedule- which is no good and stresses me out all the more. BLAH.

So I'll just sit here and daydream about all the items floating over to my spot on the couch, or me crossing my arms and nodding my head (I Dream of Jeanie) and am magically transported to another location (i.e., Miami???) without the stress of packing up the car... I'm just whining to whine- in reality things are quite wonderful once you look past the haze of exhaustion and elementary school induced colds (grrrrr). Hope everyone is having a great one as well!

I'm Creating a Monster!

Happy 39 weeks gestational age! (LOL)... He still has 1 more week until he was actually due- so it's still bizarre that we've had so much time together already. This is where things get sticky...

Because he was a preemie, and we had so many challenges being in the NICU, the primary focus was providing him an environment as close to the womb as possible. Keeping him kangaroo'd and nuzzling as often as we could, minimal stimulation, and just sitting there staring at him for hours. Now, as he's starting to get to the "age" of a newborn, I'm wondering at what point we should start to introduce more "normal" activities, and worry about spoiling him. Hahaha... okay, in reality I'm a believer of not being able to spoil a baby- that by cuddling them and comforting them (almost) all the time, that you give them the security & safety that builds a confident and independent baby/child later on. At least that's what I've seen- exhibit A? Kaely. She was "spoiled" rotten as a baby, and is one of the most independent children I know. She knows she can explore or take chances and I'll be here if she needs me.

In the meantime... I have noticed how ridiculous it is with Chase... he knows the differences between his bed and us, and I can do just about anything I want, write on the blog, walk the dogs, put away dishes- as long as he's near me, he's happy as anything and will sleep peacefully. But put him in his bed and it'll be short-lived. Way to help that is use of white noise, and swaddling, but it still reduces his time in half. I have found the bouncy seat or swing to be useful for the sake of showering though- the noise of the shower or blow dryer keeps him snoozing!

So- at what point do you have the "tough love" approach and believe that they should be able to be on their own for stretches of time and all that? I'm still kind of in the mindset that he should still have possibly been in me- but then again- chances are he'd have been born by now too. I know I'm creating a monster- but sadly half of the comfort is for me too... lol. Oh well- for now I'll enjoy every moment- and hope the answers will become clear!

Here is him as I'm typing this post (haha):

How he spends part of the morning- just checking things out :) Wish I had a camera that does him justice though... he's too funny!

 Here's to enjoying another beautiful day! Oh- and Happy 1st SuperBowl Sunday!

Postpartum Myths...

I had to laugh listening to my sister complaining about being pregnant the other day, and all the things she can't wait to no longer deal with as soon as the baby is born... so I figured for the sake of realistic expectations (and laughs) I'd dispel those myths...

Things she looks forward to being rid of:

1. Swelling & Bloating - hahaha... okay, perhaps I don't have as much as I did before, but with raging & adjusting hormones trying to overtake my body once again, your intestines and everything else are still out of wack- and as you (my sister) heard me complaining the other day, the pain of gas & bloating still exist almost like the first trimester of pregnancy. UGH
2. Eat what I want! - see previous post about all the restrictions they recommend on when you nurse- seriously, I think it's almost worse than when I was pregnant, because at least when he was in utero, I never noticed if he was screaming & gassy from broccoli or too much dairy... granted, I do thoroughly enjoy having lunchmeat & sushi again.
3. Exercise & get back in shape - I couldn't wait! Now at 5+weeks postpartum, I'm still waiting on my doctor's appointment to get the go-ahead to even be able to walk briskly or lift over 10 lbs again. It's almost like being on bed rest still. I feel like such a bum!
4. Sleep- she seriously said this- hahahaha... okay, this was before she stayed over and may realize how it is to wake up every 2-3 hours, then have to stay up at least 15-30 minutes each time to nurse/change diapers/etc. Yes, the idea of not having to pee every hour is wonderful, but at least you can sleepwalk to the bathroom and be back to sleep in a matter of minutes. 
5. Not be such a *&$#!- okay, we know most pregnant ladies are a little nuts- and we deserved to be- but I think I've shown more temper and attitude postpartum than I ever did pregnant- and largely because it's about being overprotective (and over-exhausted) of baby boy... 
6. Get rid of maternity clothes! - I was so ready for this, especially living in Florida, most of the clothes I bought early in pregnancy were geared for "winter" and I never ended up wearing most. I did pack up a ton to try to sell to the consignment/2nd hand shop- which they kindly declined as being "out of season" but to keep and try again at the end of the year- UGH. But more-so, I still am wearing maternity jeans when I'm not wearing pajamas and yoga pants, and thanks to the enormous milk-makers, most of my pre-preggo shirts are too short. Not cool... sooooo- a lot of that maternity stuff is still lingering... 
7. Sleeping on my stomach again! -Once again, another myth, because unless you aren't nursing, there's no way you can sleep on your stomach without leaking & pain... not to mention those lovely nights of engorgement that make even sleeping on your side painful... seriously??? 
8. Lastly- the departure of "preggo brain"- I think it's even worse now, because at least before I could sleep to some degree, but adding in exhaustion to the distractions of juggling a newborn with other responsibilities around the home, then the still overwhelming hormones and all that craziness- yeah... I still forget what I walked into the other room for, completely forgot that I hadn't eaten breakfast yet yesterday, for more than 2 hours, forgot that people were coming over, have forgotten for almost a month to call/mail in the jury duty excuse request, etc, etc, etc... sigh... 

No matter what, all these things are worth the little bundle of joy of course- and I know these things will eventually pass/fade- but had to laugh as we sat there for a full day comparing the 38+weeks pregnancy with the 5 weeks postpartum, and how there isn't a whole lot of difference yet... 

Chase has been continuing to hang out more and more being alert & awake, so we've started playing around with the bouncy seat, swing, and trying to do more "tummy time" exercising. Developmentally he's still stuck between the preemie time-tables and regular newborn ones, but he's continuing to grow and thrive like a champ! 

Here is dad & him snoozing- I am sooooo jealous! 

A Picture Worth a Thousand Words...

Or several... the talent "Aunt" Jen has behind the camera is never shown off enough, and we are soooo fortunate to have time to play! Here are a few photos from Chase's photo shoot yesterday- these will be cherished forever!

More to come later!

(these are from 2/5/12 with Dad...)

Oh- and Happy 5 Weeks Baby Boy!!!