The Diaper Olympics

Yeah, so the diaper companies have already marketed this issue, but up until now, I haven't had too many worries about it. But... all good things must come to an end. Let me tell you how stinkin' hard it was getting a diaper on baby boy after his bath tonight. Had him on the changing table and all, so not really anywhere he could go, but everytime I tried fastening the tabs in place, he'd pick his butt up and push back, so I'd have to rearrange the diaper again and take another try... a solid 1-2 minutes later (this is actually a really long time considering this should only take a few seconds). ARG! Twisting, scooting, squirming, shooting backwards- I started working up a sweat. Ridiculous! LOL. Then came his pajamas... Oh Lord- that was another couple minutes...

So- the days of the passive, pliable, serene baby changing have become a thing of the past. Oh well- what fun is it without a good challenge, eh? On to the next event... baby jui jitsu...

Happy 7 Months!

The way time is flying is surreal. 7 months- really??? He is approximately 17-18 lbs now, about 26-26 1/2" long, and is noggin is about 17" circ... still a little on the smaller size is relation to other 7 month old's, but for him? A giant :) Complete with his two razor sharp bottom teeth, and backwards locomotion. We have a lot of milestones left to tackle, but the catch-up game is starting to close the gap. Such an amazing little man!!!

Eye of the Hurricane

The teething hurricane that is. I commented (a little too soon, but still rolling with it) today about how much happier and easier to handle Chase has been since those stinkin' teeth cut through. What a difference! I mean, aside from when he's hungry, he's generally content and happy now- I was starting to wonder if this was even possible... I mean, Kaely was always a happy baby, but I swear it's those teeth that made all the difference! So I'm reveling in the happy baby phase now, because I know more teeth are on the way sooner than I care to face again :) 

Our continued friend? Frozen bananas- he goes nuts over there- but this is often the messy result :) 

He keeps increasing his appetite with solids- genuinely being excited over these exploratory mealtimes now. Today's treat was apple & butternut squash- reminds me of fall, I can't wait! I am starting to look around the kitchen during mealtimes now and try to introduce some new foods. I didn't let him actually "eat" any chicken- but he did lick it- lol... I am loving his excitement in trying things. He's curious about it all, and has to watch, listen, touch, and explore everything!

As the weekends are never long enough- we're trying to cram as much into them as possible. I've still been lacking energy, so Kaely and Dave dragged us out of the house Saturday to head to the park- surprise, surprise, no one had any idea where we were going- so we just ended up at a random one. I wasn't thrilled with the suffocating heat, but watching Kae and Dave goof around along the trail, well, can't help but smile :) 

To cap it off, trying to smooth over Mom's cranky mood, Kae & Dave went out to the store to pick up movies and brought back the most ridiculously sad bouquet of flowers I've ever seen. That's horrible, I know- but I had bet Chase (haha) when they left that they would end up coming back with flowers since Kaely had been whining about getting some earlier in the day. Sure enough- in she walks proudly with the multi-colored, dyed daisies. When I looked closer to put them in a vase, I noticed 90% of the flowers were dead, petals falling off, and the heads of the flowers decapitated in some- LMAO! I couldn't help it, it cracked me up- which, in the end, was so much better than a beautiful bouquet in the first place. 

Happy Sunday... 

Inspiration and Smiles

Kaely has caught the scrapbooking bug, and since I've given up on scrapbooking- replaced by the much more convenient online photobook publishing- so I dug through all sorts of stickers, accents, and a book of quotes- which made me smile since I've had these for years. The one booklet of velum quotes I have contains all the leftovers, since I had used all the little girl quotes already, being left with all the boy ones :) Guess it was meant to be, eh? So a few favorites quotes:

"100 years from now,
It will not matter
What my bank account was,
How big my house was,
Or what kind of car I drove,
But the world may
Be a little better,
Because I was important 
In the life of a child.
-Forest Witcraft


"A truly rich man is one whose children
Run into his arms when his hands are empty."


"What is a home without children? - QUIET" 
-Henry Youngman

"Few misfortunes can befall
A boy which bring worse
Consequences than to have
A really affectionate mother."
-W. Somerset Maugham

"Boys are beyond the range 
Of anybody's sure understanding,
at least when they are between the ages
of 18 months and 90 years." 
-James Thurber

"Anyone who
thinks the art of 
conversation is dead
ought to tell a child
to go to bed."
-Robert Callagher

"Cleaning your house while your kids are still growing up 
is like shoveling the walk before it stops snowing."
-Phyllis Diller

"Children seldom misquote.
In fact, they usually repeat
word for word what you
shouldn't have said."


"Boyhood is a most complex
and incomprehensible thing.
Even when one has been through it,
one does not understand what it was.
A man can never quite understand a boy,
even when he has been a boy."
-Gilbert K. Chesterton


"Of all the animals, the boy is the most unmanageable."
-Plato


"Children make you want to start life over."
-Muhammad Ali

Never-Ending Growth Spurts

Ahhhh- Vampire Babies... I have commented a few times this past week that Chase is sucking the life out of me. Not meant to be in a negative way, but that I've felt like I've been hit by a bus almost every day lately, and keeping up with producing is just draining me... Chase's latest "sleep schedule" has been going to bed around 8pm, up again around 11pm briefly (I refuse to feed him at this point), then up to eat around 1-2am, then again around 4-5am, then again by 7am... usually eats twice between 7-9am, then for a nap around 9-10.... today he has been napping since 9am, and it's 11am... he's out.

Yesterday I napped with him on the recliner from about 2:30-5:00... sad, I know, but man I've been exhausted lately. Since I don't pump or anything, I'm not exactly sure how much he eats, but I think his demand is exceeding my supply for once. I'm kicking up the solids a bit more to supplement, but feeding a baby is hard work! LOL.

Oh well- it's a good thing that he keeps growing though- he's gotten to be such a little man now :)

We even got to go play in the pool yesterday for a bit with my sister, Nathan, and Kaely. First time I've really got into the water all the way with him and let him play around, and the first time for lathering on the sunblock... after the shock of coolness in the beginning, he was just chillin' out (looking so serious!)- towards the end he got the hang of splashing around- although he kept accidentally dunking his face in the water. I've started to look up the Safe Start swim classes recommended for 6 months and up. Especially here in Florida where drowning is one of the leading causes of accidental deaths in young children- not good. So, another thing to add to my "To-Do List."

Complementary Feeding

Ah... yes. I stumbled across this pamphlet while looking at the new growth charts that the CDC is recommending using for babies aged 0-2 years. The WHO (World Health Organization) has a more accurate chart than what the CDC was using in previous years, reflecting breastfed infants.

In any case, the pamphlet Guiding Principles For Complementary Feeding of the Breastfed Child, discusses both the Guideline, and the Scientific Rationale of the recommendations. Seeing as I've been bitten the past couple days, I've really been soul-searching about how long to continue this whole nursing thing- because man it hurts! But the health benefits may have me resorting to pumping again if I have to.

They recommend introducing foods around 6 months of age (oh well), when they are developmentally and physically ready. I thought the excerpt "Optimal complementary feeding depends not only on what is fed, but also how, when, where, and by whom the child is fed." This is so true. Just like typically I cannot give Chase a bottle for anything... at least not warmed up. But to give it cold, or as we tried today- in a sippy/training cup- he loved it. Same goes for testing solids and being at home versus out and about.

The Guidelines cover:

1. Duration of exclusive breastfeeding (BF) and age of introduction of complementary foods
2. Maintenance of BF
3. Responsive feeding
4. Safe preparation and storage of complementary foods
5. Amount of complementary foods needed
6. Food consistency
7. Meal frequency and energy density 
8. Nutrient content of complementary foods
9. Use of vitamin-mineral supplements or fortified products for infants or mother
10. Feeding during and after illness

I appreciate using this information exactly as it is stated- as a "guideline"- while finding a middle ground with Infant-Led Weaning, and just honestly taking cues from Chase. I want to make sure he enjoys meals, and has a positive association with mealtimes... everyday is a new adventure, and while I'm sure we'll encounter some disasters, his health and happiness is still top priority.  

Go Speed Racer, Go!

Ah, Chase... this is the method of transportation I was referring to... refusing to be on his tummy, and launching himself backwards throughout the room. LOL. His cousin just kept trying to grab him as he went by- crazy kids!

After having a couple weeks off from watching Nathan, it was a bit of a rude awakening watching him again today... I got spoiled with Chase's quasi-routine between him and I. Right around 1:00 I was able to put Chase down in his crib for a nap- where he put himself to sleep... in the meantime, Nathan managed to scream for a good 45 minutes, until Chase gave up on sleeping. Sigh... had to coerce Nathan to eat, then they were both up and playing for a while. By 3:00, Chase was hungry again and fell back to sleep. Meanwhile, Nathan was wide awake and demanding undivided attention...

On a side note- comparing their legs- hilarious. I guess it's not as obvious in photos as it is in person, but... 

This went on the entire day... Nathan never took a nap, and any time I had to "ignore" him in order to feed Chase, cook dinner, give Chase a bath, etc- he was screaming. When I did pick him up he automatically stopped crying- until I tried to rock him to sleep, or when I tried feeding him... I honestly realized today I don't think I'm cut out for watching him this long anymore. I had to put myself in time out in my room for a bit to let him scream it out- because I just needed a break. When you make sure they are clean, fed, held (at that time), and they still are going berserk, well... sometimes you just have to walk away. I realize juggling Chase, Kaely, and the dogs while watching Nathan on a day like today is just too much- I lost count of how many times I snapped at Kaely because my ears were ringing from all the crying. Sigh...

(Chase was sitting like this in the swing while Nathan was screaming in the high chair- LOL)

So, I wrap up the night with Chase in his bed, and Nathan in the swing. Cop out- I know- but desperate times... I am trying to make it up to Kaely by letting her watch the show "So You Think You Can Dance"- which I think is one of the few inspirational shows out there for her- but I've had to remind her a dozen times to be quiet in the past 45 minutes, so I'm praying for patience- and bedtime! :)

At least Kae and I threw together a cake- nothing like sugar to smooth over raw nerves

The Caregiver's Checklist

This came up recently in conversation, and I realized how much knowledge and information about infants I assume (yes- assume) everyone else knows. Since I'm OCD and a control freak - especially with Chase- I know the list of rules/suggestions/methodology is staggering... but... important.

In a perfect world everyone would be certified for infant CPR (i.e., 30 compressions using your pointer & middle finger over baby's heart to every 2 breaths covering baby's mouth & nose, to the speed of the song "Stayin' Alive" or "Everyone Bites the Dust") Or know how to respond if baby is choking ( Choking First Aid Five & Five method- start with 5 back blows with the butt of your palm, baby supported head/face down on your thigh, then alternate to 5 chest compressions until object is dislodged) - those are just the basics. Recognizing the signs of them being necessary are another story.

Other safety things I took for granted as common knowledge are as follows:

• Back To Sleep - I've heard so much about this the past 5-10 years that I guess everyone knew as well. This is not the case though, and have realized many who have never really been around children, or not in the past 10 years or so- haven't been aware of this movement and "rule." It has been shown to reduce SIDS by about 50%- even though they aren't sure exactly why. It is something I'm not willing to question too much in the gamble. 
• Other sleeping rules - when leaving for bed/naptime- not putting any blankets, toys, stuffed animals, etc in with him. If it's cool then I dress him in a long-sleeved sleeper (like overnight with the fan on high), or during the day I just turn the fan off. Watching Chase on a normal day, he is infamous for pulling stuff on his head, shoving things in his mouth, etc. So many dangerous possibilities that can happen in a matter of minutes.
• Warming milk. This cannot be done in the microwave! Aside from who-knows-what that it does to the breastmilk, it can scald it, and in turn hurt the little one. Both in the hospital, and here at home, the best method is by placing the bottle in a larger cup and running warm/hot water over it until the milk warms. On the same note- baby needs to eat the milk within 30-60 minutes- anything after that has to be discarded. It cannot be reheated or refrigerated afterwards. 
• Solids- generally speaking I'm going with unless you are specifically asked to feed him solids, do not give him ANYTHING other than what was approved by Mom & Dad. Sometimes it's about not having tried for allergies yet on new foods, or the chances of possibly choking on something -especially when not paying attention every second- is high. There are guidelines to introducing new foods that can be important, so unless you know exactly what is approved, please don't give it! 
• Honey! Absolutely  no honey for baby until after 1 year old. That also goes for chocolate, cow/soy milk, etc. Choking hazard foods include small, round, harder foods like grapes, berries, nuts, popcorn, anything soft & sticky, etc. 
• Toys- please don't allow baby to play with anything other than his approved toy stash- sometimes the most innocent looking kitchen tool or random house item can be dangerous. A spoon can easily be jammed down their throats- so not worth the risk. 
• Orajel- or any other medications- again- unless expressly approved and asked to be given, just don't. There are dangers that can be associated with Orajel relating to breathing and other life-threatening conditions, so although the teething baby can be a bear, just try to stick with what is recommended by Mom & Dad.
• Seatbelts! - This goes for highchairs, strollers, swings, etc. I know it may be a matter of "I'm watching him" - but all it takes is a split second of arching the back and sliding, and out he goes. I've seen this nearly happen, it's not worth the risk. Car seats- well, I'm not even touching this one since I don't plan on anyone driving him anywhere in the next decade (slight exaggeration)- but still- see the post Car Seat Safety
• Baths- again- please leave this to Mom & Dad unless expressly asked to. Too many dangers period. A heavy, slippery, squirmy baby is not the easiest to deal with, and the risk is just not worth it. A washcloth or baby wipe does wonders in the meantime.
• Smoking/Drinking- this should go without saying- don't do it around the baby- period.

Other than that? Enjoy him! I know you probably won't listen to the idea of letting him lay on his own, and will spoil the crap out of him by holding him the whole time and letting bedtime come and go, but he'll survive. It may drive us batty later as he's off schedule, but the previously mentioned things go beyond annoyances- and are about life threatening risks and prevention. So please, please, know it's not meant to offend anyone- but about keeping the little buggers safe. Others have shared their baby monsters and encountered some of these already- I guess when I eventually get to the point of being able to leave Chase somewhere for an hour or two, I want to know that the refresher course has been taken... 

Days of Randomness

First, our little piranha just drew blood this morning. Um- OWWWWW! I was paying attention I thought- and noticed he was about done eating, but he nipped me before I could stop it. Brought tears to my eyes, like little razor blades in his mouth. (Suck it up MOM!)

I learned yesterday while trying the "infant-led weaning" process out the previous night, that carrots will come back out in one piece. Chase about gave me a heart-attack with a chunk of carrot he gnawed off and proceeded to gag on- twice. Eventually he swallowed it. I was waiting to see if I'd see that again- sure enough- Ewww. LOL. So we had some pureed carrots yesterday evening instead- I think it's going to be a process for us both.

Drama. Oh my, the drama... you cannot wait for your child(ren) to walk, talk, read & write.... but when they do? This is what you get:

Hand-written notes folded and left outside her door with a pencil so I can write my reply. REALLY??? The first drama was because the dogs weren't listening to her and going into her room. I looked at her tearing up and was like, uh??? What's wrong? So she pointed at the dogs... I explained she just needed to ask for help, no reason to get so upset... so then after I got the dogs in her room, she left the first note outside the door. Sheesh.  The last note was after sending her to bed last night, because she "just wanted to watch the first part of Master Chef"- but I made her go to bed anyway. If this is any indication of the teenage years- I'm hiding!

I also discovered that Chase refuses to do tummy time now- good part is he automatically rolls over, which, okay, yay... but really?? He "speed scoots" backwards throughout the room. I decided I'd had it with his being a bum- so I just put the blanket back out on the floor, and he can do whatever in that space- even cry. He has got to get up to par with the physical activity! LOL. So I go around the kitchen island (adjacent to the living room), and look up, and he's already against the couch, or scooted off the blanket on the opposite side. Hmmm. I guess he's being mobile in his own way :)

A continuation to my "Clothing Confusion" post the other day- discovered this sleeper that is "12 months" from The Children's Place- looked a little smaller, so threw it on him last night- and yeah- there is no way he'd fit into this in a couple months. So go through the outfits constantly if you don't want to miss out on them!

Lastly, as I was grumbling about this morning- Chase woke me up at 2am, 4am, and then again around 7am... Kaely came in around 3am- and she is a bed hog- all arms and legs flailing about. So I gave up by 7 to get any kind of good sleep- just for Chase to fall back to sleep, and Kaely to still be sleeping in... What the heck??? Somehow this doesn't seem fair!

Oh well, it's 9am and both kids are asleep. If I were smart, I'd wake them both up and get them going- but the selfish part of me is simply embracing my coffee and quiet time either way. Ahhhhh....

So- When Are You Having Your Next?

BUWAHAHAHAHAA!!!

People- you are insane. I get this question almost as often as I get "Is he hungry?," "Are his eyes going to stay blue?," and "Are you moving?"... ugh. Kaely has been the latest offender on this quest- and it's driving me batty! For her, it's easy enough to simply say- go talk to your dad and ask him for another sibling (she still wants a sister)- but for everyone else? Sorry. I love Chase nearly more than anything in the world (Kaely being an equal exception), but let's just say I realize I'm suffering from pregnancy PTSD. (Some graphic details to follow- fair warning- but a reminder (and re-run) to those when they ask why I say, "no thanks")

Partially joking about it, but on a serious note? I really do feel the throat clenching, gut-wrenching, pulse pounding, fear and anxiety over the thought of even taking a chance on going through this all again. Dave and I joke back and forth about how "I asked for it"- how the timing of Chase's birth seems like he was a honeymoon baby, and recalling my fervent arguments and debates about the timing of planning a family at the time. Dave wanted us to have a year as newlyweds first before trying- me? I have so many friends who have gone through trouble trying to get pregnant, I figured we could very well be in the same boat, and I knew I didn't want to look at having a baby past mid-thirties (personally). So... a couple months after the wedding we (or mainly, me) decided to let things happen as they were meant to. Ahhhh- joke was on us- literally within the week or two after that decision, we were blessed with Chase. I had that moment of- "Oh crap" - here I had made such a big deal over the fact that it could very likely take months or a year or two for it to even happen, and then "BAM!" - here he was.

The first few weeks were a bit of shock. Dave was still working up here in the area, and I had just started a new job at the hotel (re-)opening the Starbucks- complete with physical labor of moving things, setting up stock, running orders, and losing my mind. So- when at around 6 weeks I experienced the first bleeding incident, I felt guilty as hell, thinking that my hesitation over being excited was partly to blame. I thought for sure I was miscarrying. I was advised to go home from work, stay off my feet, and go to my scheduled ultrasound the next morning. I was a basketcase to be honest, but Dave and I went to the appointment- and surprised us by seeing/hearing his heartbeat on screen... I was told that "sometimes these things happen" and to take it easy, but nothing I do or don't do would make a difference. I was given a note for work to take a week or two off. But... this was a new job, I wasn't about to tell anyone I was pregnant, and since the doctor said "nothing I do or don't do would make a difference..."

I ended up going to work, but taking it easy (as much as possible). A week later, on Kaely's 6th birthday, I was at work and experienced extreme bleeding again (down my legs, horrible and terrifying)... I sat there bawling, and finally told my co-worker the situation. I "knew" that it was over- but she assured me that it was going to be okay.. I didn't believe her at the time, but went directly to the doctor- and sure enough- the little #$%& was swimming around, with a perfect little heartbeat. I was diagnosed with a "subchorionic hemmorhage" Basically I was put on every kind of rest you can think of (pelvic rest, bed rest, etc)- and was given the note that I needed to make it at least to 12 weeks before being re-evaluated to return to work, being able to walk, etc. The job put on a fake face and said they understood... the couple co-workers I had were genuinely supportive and beyond caring. I lost my mind the next couple weeks being at home, not being able to move around, Kaely was out of school for the summer, and all of my known independence was taken away.

This is about the time I decided to return to school if they'd still have me. I thought it'd be less physically demanding, and thought I'd be able to survive, have Chase in February, and return to school right after... (ha)... A month or more of bleeding, another note that meant I couldn't return to work again- and they decided to "let me go"... the kicker was because I hadn't been there long enough, I wasn't able to qualify for unemployment or any other benefits. If only I had stayed with corporate Starbucks (as I had for years) I would've had disability pay, along with possibility for unemployment. OH well. I was finally let off bedrest around 14 weeks or so, enough to start nursing school in August, and try to resume a normal pregnancy...

Dave was offered the job down in Miami in September, and since I was back to normal activity and feeling decent, I thought it'd be fine... we traveled to Boston, moved some stuff down to Miami, flew back and forth between Orlando and Miami while I tried to finish the semester of school... Chase was growing and behaving for the most part right along schedule... until... November.

The second weekend of November I woke up in the middle of the night on Friday night to pee for the millionth time as usual, when I looked down and saw a large blob- a clot of blood- sitting in the toilet. It was around 2 am or so, and I had a moment of shock. Since my anxiety increased, I started to be panicked... Dave was due to fly in the next morning (I remember being mad at him for some stupid reason or another, so he had mentioned asking if I'd even be picking him up at the airport that morning)... I called the doctor's office and was told to go right to the L&D of the hospital that I was supposed to deliver at. I was just shy of 27 weeks (I distinctly recall the date of 11/11/11- later it turned to 11/12/11, Saturday). I drove myself (and yes got yelled at for it), and once again, thought that I was losing him. 24 hours observation, and he was just peachy- great size, extremely active- just me and the bleeding again.

Another order of indefinite bedrest, trying to finish up the last month of school, and just... survive. You have no idea how much you take for granted until you are unable to do things for yourself. I was not (and prob am not) the most compliant patient- so I pushed the envelope constantly on the (modified) bedrest issue. I made it through Thanksgiving, and then the following weekend was our baby shower. The day before I passed another clot- and thought- crap! So I put myself on strict bedrest again and just held my breath... the day of the shower came, and of course I had to cook myself (against protests of family), and then just sat there exhausted... the next day was Sunday, Dave had to drive back to Miami, and I went to bed... only to wake up around midnight to pee again... and this time a clot about the size of my palm was in the toilet. Once again I drove myself to the hospital, somewhat knowing the drill, but thinking that this time I may not make it out. I insisted Dave not drive back up since everything looked okay- they were just observing me, and giving me injections of steroids- just to play it safe for his lungs. All the nurses remembered me from the previous visit. I was just 30 weeks.

Once again, released and sobered. I had to see the OB every week, and ended up being twice a week in those next couple weeks for ultrasounds, testing (positive) for FFN (an indicator for pre-term labor)... so on top of the bleeding, I was now being careful about pre-term labor. Then, on one of the ultrasounds it was shown that he was measuring small for his gestational age. The look on the tech's face was terrifying- because she had been there each time I had been bleeding and all that... so the doctor mentioned it, but said we'd wait another week (this was the week before Christmas) to take another measurement. Went through the motions at Christmas- researching the term they quietly said at the time - IUGR- and just hoped for the best. After all, this whole time he'd been measuring right on for his age/size. Day after Christmas I had to go to the hospital for a non-stress test to observe his heart rate and all. That part we passed with flying colors. That was a Monday.

Dave returned to Miami that night, and the next morning I was to go back for the followup ultrasound. Tuesday morning I woke up feeling positive- thinking I'd go in and see he was the right size for his age, and it was just a fluke the week before. Unfortunately, that was not the case, he went from being under the 5th percentile to under the 3rd. He was measuring in at 30-31 weeks gestational age rather than the 33 weeks. The doctor wrote me a referral to a perinatologist, and called to set the appointment with him himself for the next day. They had different equipment and specialized in this. Still reeling from all this, I found out that they may want to induce labor/go in for a c-section soon. What??? I thought we were just talking about trying to prevent pre-term labor...

Wednesday. Went to the specialist. Waited for hours, saw my squirmy little sea monkey on screen, and he was still measuring around that 31 weeks size. Not good. They did an echocardiogram on him to make sure there were no issues there, that was the good news. But he was showing stress through the blood flow of the umbilical cord, and this meant he wasn't getting the nutrition needed- hence the stunting of growth. They did an amniocentesis to see if his lungs were developed enough to survive outside the womb. I was walking in shock. If they were ready, they wanted to deliver him in the next week. If they weren't, they would consider another round of steroids and to wait another week or so. The gamble was if they waited, he could go into distress and well, the worst could happen...

Thursday. Got the call that morning that the results were his lungs were ready. Got another call from my doctor asking me to go to the office to talk to him. That is never a good sign. I had Kaely with me, we sat in that office for at least an hour or two, watching Elf. Towards the end of the day (4pm) (turns out the doc had an emergency c-section he had to leave to, so that's what took so long) I sat there and got the news they were recommending delivering- the next day- and not inducing either- which I wanted to push for. No, they felt that the stress may be too much on Chase, they wanted to do a c-section, the next morning at 7am. I had to call Dave to come home that night. I had to coordinate what to do with Kaely who saw me crumbling. I have never felt so much fear.

Friday morning was the delivery-getting to the hospital at 4am, and all that follows (see my first post The Arrival and Day of Delivery) Followed by 23+ days living in the NICU, and all the fear and terror that follows....

I have the most amazing, adorable, pleasantly plump little baby boy now. Arriving in at 4lbs 2oz- then losing weight to being around 3 1/2 lbs before gaining weight again... all those nights and days listening to the sounds of the monitors. Knowing that my head automatically snaps around at those sounds- even when watching tv shows... I still struggle with the adjusted age expectations, and how different things are, but I know how fortunate we are about how healthy he really is (up to 17 lbs!).

So, see? I feel through all that nightmare, we were so incredibly fortunate, that we truly lucked out - and I fear that I would push my luck trying to take that gamble again. I don't think I could emotionally survive going through even a fraction of that again, of being afraid to even be excited nearly the whole time, because I was trying to keep distant since I didn't know how things were going to end... I have separation anxiety with leaving Chase with anyone because I know how precious each moment is. No, he doesn't have "special needs" now- but it's just that I feel so ridiculously overprotective...I hate that I hurt and offend people because I watch everyone like a hawk with him, and am still not able to imagine dropping him off with anyone. Well, it's all so exhausting... so no, I do not see ever being able to give Chase a baby brother or sister- soooo... it's a touchy subject, and I try to make light of it- but I really am serious when I say that I can't imagine it. So, Kaely can look to her dad, we have several sisters and brothers (in-law) who can provide more little ones to play with :)

I will cherish my good fortune in the two beautiful children I have now- and while I work to put the past behind us, I also remind myself of it in order to put things in perspective.

Nursing- With Teeth

The past week has had me scrambling to find the answers to this issue of a cranky, sore, teething baby trying to nurse. As I said before, I did not have to deal with it when it came to Kaely teething since I weaned her once she hit 1 year, and she had just gotten her first tooth right after her 1st birthday. So, I've noticed Chase pulling, tugging, twisting, turning, and chomping- ummm- OWWWWW! The yelps seem to do nothing more than either increase his fussiness, or earn me a quick eyebrow raise with a grin- never letting go. Now that those razor-sharp chompers have definite bite behind them- I'm pretty nervous every time its mealtime. How do you "discipline" or discourage a baby from using you as a teething toy?

So, some things I read up on, and realized...

1. When he is actively nursing, he should have a good deep latch, and his tongue would essentially be covering his teeth- so he shouldn't be able to bite. Okay- so if I pay attention, I realize his latch sucks. Often times when I'm too full, he can't get the best latch, and just eats lazily since it works as a fountain anyway.... this is how we get to the next issue

2. They will often let go of the latch, and pull back, turn their heads, look around, etc when they are pretty much done actively nursing- so they sometimes (or more often than not) will bite down when they start to lose grip- this is a frequent occurrence- he gets distracted and decides to "play"- this is where I'm cracking down- and once he starts this, he's cut off.

3. Biting to get attention- hmmmm- now this is a new one...  but it makes sense in a way- I mean, obviously when he does something like whack us, or bite, or coo, or screech, we quickly turn our attention to him... so by being in a conversation with someone else, watching a show, or doing whatever else it is- it's the one form of tried & true communication tool he has. Gotta work on changing that though- may involve scaring/startling him by yelling- not sure yet

4. Oh- and realize also now that he gets antsy and agitated when he empties out a side. This hasn't happened all that often until recently- but his appetite only continues to increase, so I noticed when he starts squirming and pulling, that it's time to switch sides- he acts like a ravenous pup that has been starved. Ridiculous- but okay- time to pay closer attention before he has a chance to nip me.


The worst part of this is when he seems to be in pain- and hungry at the same time- because he keeps trying to eat, but every other second stops to cry and stop eating... really sucks. In regards to the suggestions of using things like Orajel (or whiskey -lol) - there are serious potential side effects with things like benzocaine which is the numbing agent in the OTC medicines. It can cause complications with breathing, and even death, often associated with a rare medical condition (Methemoglobanemia)- but for me- it's not worth taking the chance. He isn't crazy about the cold teething toys- the food (banana) works because, well, it's food... otherwise it's the hand/fingers/cloth/etc. So- we just hold on tight for the bumpy, teething, ride... Two teeth down- 18 more to go (in the next 2 1/2 years or so)... fun, fun, fun

The Nomads

Starting to feel a little nomadic over here- but Chase has been traveling like a champ. We traveled back to the "house" yesterday afternoon- and Chase was even kind enough to wait to blow out his diaper until we were in the store getting lunch. LOL. At least that meant I could change outfits without endangering his car seat. He spent time during the ride just seeming to sing along with the music and check out all the passing scenery. We'll be hanging at the house this week, until the next time we get to hang with Dad. Kaely will keep us on our toes as always... maybe if I'm lucky I may get around to finishing up his room- one can hope! 

Dad is the only one who can carry him in that darn baby carrier- there's no way I'm lugging him around that way! According to the Publix scale, he's a good 17+ lbs now. Monster!

The pups were super excited to have us back- Chase seems increasingly intrigued by these furry, smelly creatures- a boy and his dog, eh?

Ahhhhh! A Monster! (With Teeth!)

A few days to catch up on. First, we had a last minute ability to travel down to Miami with Dad (Thanks Kaz boys), and so everything got (or continued?) in chaos (as usual). We packed everything up and headed out Sunday evening, into a monsoon- saw several accidents after they happened, had to call the highway patrol on one (wish we could've stopped, but it was too late without turning around)... so we made it safely :)

Fortunately, I brought some projects with- over the weekend (after my lovely Friday the 13th), I finished up Chase's shopping cart/high chair cover- just have to add the seat belt yet... it was a pain in the butt, until I was finished, then I thought- wow, that was kinda fun- go figure!

Ah- so the monster part... yes, had an insane day with baby boy on Tuesday- and sure enough- two bottom teeth have officially broken skin. See? I wasn't imagining things- that part is the good part. But between the pain/discomfort- he has been fussing while eating- which was the big neon blinking sign that the teeth were hurting. Those suckers are sharp! Now all of a sudden he's trying to use me as a chew-toy- what the heck? Kaely was no longer nursing when her first tooth appeared, so this is completely foreign.

Add on his newest thing where he is constantly swinging his arms- when nursing, he's fidgeting nonstop with the straps of my tank tops- snapping them- or he's raking his nails (which I trim twice a week) down my arms/chest/face... or he always has a hand on my face- usually my nose or mouth- where he seems to be either reassuring himself as to who it is, or being curious. When I carry him up higher on my hip, he grabs my face with both hands and it's either him trying to mimic a kiss (my preferred thought) or trying to eat me. LOL. Either way, it's a risk to hold him now half the time- always in motion, and somewhat dangerous :)

Then he finally figured out his feet- I know a lot of others did a while ago, but well, with those massive thighs, flexibility isn't as easy -lol. It's entertaining for us both though, and makes diaper changes a bit challenging- only because while it helps in some ways, he won't stay still in others. We've been going through anywhere from 2-4 outfits a day lately- not spit up this time- but massive blowouts. Really???

Still working on tummy time activities- amazing how far he can travel throughout the room when he's on his back and ticked off- but tummy time still sucks. Coordinating tummy time with a stomach that isn't full and he's awake is yet another challenge. I'm determined though to get this stinker mobile.

Great part about being down here of course is being with Dad... and for my sake? Being able to hand off the monster for an hour or so, and let blood return to my arms, stretch my back out, and have a tiny bit of freedom... even things like bath time are fun for Chase & Dad, which makes me happy as well :) I get to work on some of my sewing projects or read, and the boys get to bond. The limbo continues, but hey, with baby monster in tow- things are pretty good :)

Mommy Time-Out

Ahhhh- the dog days of summer make the temperatures- and tempers- inside the house boil sometimes. Yesterday was, well? Challenging to say the least. It started off okay, putzed around in Kaely's room, moved a few things around, had my coffee and played with Chase... then the stupidest things started to build- not being able to get the coat rack thing in Kaely's room to hang up (it's one of those things that has 4 screws in the wall, and you have to match up the holes exactly right, then pull down to secure it...)- so a job that should take 30 seconds took over 30 minutes. All the while Chase had tired of playing on the floor, and Kaely kept making comments about- wow, shouldn't you be done by now? (steam coming out of ears- mouthing bad, bad words, muttering to the wall)...

Okay, so it's done, time for snack/nap/etc- sit down to relax for a bit- then get the message from my sister that she cannot watch the house/dogs next week afterall, so my plans to spend the week with Dave just went down the drain. My frustration and temper started into a rapid boil- and I start asking around if anyone wants a dog. Hmmm. Enter in Kaely playing with her toys, singing, in constant motion- doing nothing wrong really, but I just needed quiet. So she starts playing in the rolling chairs in the kitchen for the millionth time, which I've threatened to once again make her sit on the floor instead of at the table. Wouldn't be the first time.

Sigh... I decide what I really need is a shower. So Kaely asks to watch Chase (same room), so I let them play on the bed, she starts climbing on the footboard- which, another thing that I've told her not to do a million times (loosens up the whole frame)... so I get the usual "Oooops! Sorry!" (not very genuine)- enter into the shower. I end up having to hop out to grab something real quick, and look out- what do I see? She's sitting on the flippin' footboard again. OMG. I scare her, then enter into the shower once again.

Alrighty- at least I'm clean, so I offer to make lunch- she wants her ham & mayo sandwich, so I throw that, and a few pretzel crisps and juice together for her. She pops in a DVD game thing (old school Lion King one), and eats all her chips. Then informs me that the ham is gross and she should've chosen the turkey (mind you, she picked it out at the grocery store)... she then proceeds to finish off her juice and continue to make faces, and try to make herself gag. I'm ready to lose it. So after a good 20 minutes of this, I offer her to eat the sandwich or go lay down. She opted to lay down. Seriously???

30 minutes later, I've cooled down a bit, so I decide I wanted to go to Target to grab the diapers that were on sale. Load everyone up in the truck, buckle them in, and go to start the truck. WTH? Click, click, click... it won't freaking start! I just sit there staring at the dash, going, you have GOT to be kidding me?? So I get out to pop the hood, get it up, and low and behold? It starts raining on me. I just had to laugh- I felt like I was coming out of the looney bin. So I go back to the seat, look at the kids, and give it another try... nope. Nada. Unload everyone, and contemplate opening up a bottle of wine. But crap, it's only 2-3pm...

So instead I decide to tackle a sewing project (one of those grocery cart seat covers)- because the methodical nature of cutting/measuring/etc is somehow soothing. Kind of like cleaning/organizing can sometimes be. So of course Kaely wants to help, and Chase has missed yet another nap, so we all end up on the living room floor. We survived dinner without much incident, and managed to calm down for the rest of the evening. Well, until I turned on the tv around 7:30, and it sounded like it was going to blow up. Sigh...

Managed to get Chase bathed, Kaely in the shower, Chase in bed, and then Dave arrived early for a Friday night- and I'm sure I looked worse than something the cat dragged in... fortunately, when Chase woke up this time, Dad was there to help, and Kaely accepted her bedtime. For me? A glass of wine was mandatory, and a much needed end of the day.

Happy Friday the 13th. UGH.

Clothing Confusion!

As if I didn't have enough issues of this myself- between the past decade or more of the way clothes advertise a particular size, but clearly keep changing what that "size" means. Just like with Kaely- whose clothes I desperately need to go through and donate now that I think of it. She's fairly on for the "age" tagging that children's clothes do. But she's on the more petite side, and she quite literally still has size 4 clothes, and I even found a pair of her undies that were a size 2/3T that she had just worn. Crap! The other day she showed up (from her dad's) wearing these shorts that were the right size- but oh hell no- I had to quickly confiscate them, baby daisy dukes, OMG.

So with the process of revamping Chase's room, I discovered a diaper box of clothes I had put aside probably 8 months or so ago, of generally 12 months and up. I realized I needed to box up his 0-6 month sizes, and so I went through the newest discovery. I found an adorable Gap sleeper that is 6-12 month size, so I washed it and pulled it out to put on him tonight. Well, huh... I had to stop mid-way while putting his arms in, and have to stretch out the sleeves and holes... then ended up in the same predicament with the legs. Man! Doesn't look like he'll be wearing it again- unless somehow he sprouts outward length-wise instead of round.

Moral of the story? I highly recommend going through clothes and not missing out on some of those adorable outfits that don't exactly measure up to the typical sizes. I am pretty familiar now with the way Carter's (and all their brands) fits, and now I know Gap runs pretty small. Gerber runs bigger and stretches. Circo (Target) and some of the others tend to be a little on the bigger side- but usually is wider.

When watching Nathan last week, I had to change his outfit, so I dug in his backpack, and all the outfits were 0-3 months. I was stumped, and sure enough- they actually fit him. He's all arms & legs- so all those onesies still fit his body. Chase is pushing the 6 months sizes, and starting to get into the 6-9 months when it comes to onesies and tops.

The forever rotating closets continue on. It's a never-ending cycle of ins and outs, and nearly impossible to stay organized... but hey, at least these kids are adorable! :)

Just Another Reason Having More Than One Is Hard

Ahhhhh- jealousy. A good healthy dose. I knew it was coming, saw it from a mile away, but... one can hope. From the moment I started working on Chase's paintings in his "room" I knew Kaely would be jealous. For the first couple of days she stuck with simply being curious, and offering her help, playing in the room while I painted, etc. But, after another playdate canceled (the little boy called yesterday to chat- said he'd be right over- but of course with little kids they say that before confirming with the parents)... so she started sulking about why Chase gets the jungle room, and why haven't I done anything in her room.

Sigh... So I promised we'd go through her room today and do some fun stuff. Well- wild hairs being what they are, 9:30 last night I start simply taking down old photo frames I had on her wall, dusting them, and deciding I'd put in new photos. Then I noticed all the dust. Unacceptable amounts- and noticed the culprit of the ceiling fan. Next thing I know I'm cleaning the nasty fan blades, dusting the whole room/walls/etc... then I start taking everything off the walls, the curtains, and all that. Then comes the furniture rearranging- Kaely gave up on me around 10- and fell asleep on the couch... midnight rolls around and I'm reorganizing all her toys, getting rid of trash, sorting through her approx 30+ purses/bags (okay, seriously- please no more!)... I'm hanging up shelves- the other set I had like in Chase's room, and pulling organizers out of the garage I had bought back when we first moved stuff down to Miami. Next thing I know- it's 1:30- 2:00am... OMG- what is wrong with me???

Haha. So this morning Kaely chose to go with the Pink Panther photos, to go along with the sericel Dave got for her on our cruise almost 2 years ago (time flies!). Made the room more open and "grown up"- she won't leave it this morning! Of course I threatened her life (or just her freedom) if she messed everything up. LOL.

Still working on Chase's monkeys- here are some updates, needing to work on the details and finish the guitar playing monkey yet... then we have the baby elephant... lots more to go- but getting there! Juggle, juggle, juggle...

First Movie...

The day started off with Kaely's playdate getting cancelled at 7am. Sigh... So I felt horrible for another uneventful, boring day ahead for her. See, Chase and I can be just fine hanging out, reading, painting, or whatever- but for a 7 year old... summer sucks. Luckily, I remembered our "ghetto" theater (it's not really all that bad, just we have a million giant theaters all around, and this one is a small, old one). Anyhow, they do $1 children's movies every Wednesday morning during the summer. Granted, they are movies that are already on DVD, but still- it's the idea of going out to the theater... so, that was the plan.

Today the movie was Rio, which I loved the first time we saw it- actually, I already had Rafael, the Toucan from the movie, sketched on Chase's wall to join the cast of animals... (I think I'm going to add Jewel to it now too- hmm). All I went armed with was the diaper bag and a pair of boobs. We got there about 30 mins early, which helped to get a back seat so it wouldn't be as awkward to nurse in public. He ended up sleeping through half of the movie, then when he did wake up, he sat there enthralled with the movie. Kind of surprised me- but I guess all the colors and music was cool. Somehow it was a success! Very cool :)

Second part of our morning adventure included having to drop off library books finally, and get a couple more... so Kaely carried the books, and I had Chase. While she was in the kids section, I went searching for a couple books for me, when he started grunting...I look around knowing that more sounds were to follow- and why me? Always in the library where everyone can hear throughout the building. LOL. Sure enough... then I noticed my hand had something wet on it- I pull him away from me and the damn thing leaked everywhere! Through his onesie, overalls, and onto my shirt and jeans. Then it was a mission to get Kaely, get our new books checked out, and get the heck out of there. Of course ran into one of the moms from Kaely's class, so the girls wanted to chat- all the while I'm gagging on the smell (he had squash yesterday), and knowing it's just leaking everywhere... somehow managed to make it out- at that point it was either clean him and leave him in his carseat in just a diaper, or put a blanket under him and brave the 5 minute drive home. Considering I left the package of wipes at home today? Opted for the drive home. Never a dull moment...

Gone Bananas

Teething babies are crazy. Babies who are not teething, but have all the same symptoms? Just as nuts. Worst part? Not having a clue which is which. Sooooo... thanks again April for posting the alternative options for teething pain relief. I am not a big fan of running to Tylenol everytime he appears to be in pain- because sometimes I think it's just a mood, exhaustion, or something else entirely. I don't want to over-medicate regardless. The toys we have throughout the house are hit or miss. Honestly- his fingers - or anyone else's that he can find, seem to do the trick more-so than the toys. But... the idea of the frozen banana made me think- hmmm- not a bad idea.

So, this went really great and really bad- but I'm running with the good. He didn't want to hold it at first, and man it makes a giant, sticky, slobbery mess- but he seemed thrilled by the banana either way, and gave a few moments of contentedness. Of course, he got mad at the thing, and then we had to switch things up- but I'm putting stock in this frozen banana for the rest of the summer- teeth or no teeth! What else should I expect from creating  the monkey theme everywhere around him? :)

M-I-A

Yeah, so we've been missing in action in the virtual world the past several days. Since I took on the project of his jungle room, I've had the laptop in the room for reference, and well, too lazy to cart it back and forth. The 4th of July we laid low, tore up the yard, then visited with family and watched fireworks in our back yard... day after I played at the house while Dave had to work, then Friday I babysat the Nathan-ater and made a belated birthday dinner for my other sister. Saturday brought more friends & family visits and dinner with the grandma's and Chase finally meeting his Uncle Brandon for the first time (slacker)... so we've been busy doing a whole bunch of nothin'  :)

Cranky baby over here not enjoying the lack of attention from mom who is taking advantage of dad being here to help out so I can play with paint... Lots of craziness to go around as always!

Here are some updated pics of the room- slowly getting there!