A Work in Progress

The last time I posted, I was overwhelmed and trying my best to make light of it all, but geez this kid wears me out!

However, we went to the doctor the other day to address a persistent cough (which appears to be related to a cold/allergies/teething- but his lungs, ears, etc are clear), and to mention the lovely bruises covering his head. Fortunately, after a list of questions about his communication- what words does he say, his socializing- yes he has his issues being clingy, but is he aware of his surroundings and interacts with others, and several other questions that were trying to figure out the root of the behavior. Ultimately, it was confirmed that it seems to be largely related to his frustration in attempts to communicate- and of course catch my attention- and he has discovered the method works. If you consider the first year I spent undivided attention 95% (or more) of the time. Then the past few months I've added in school, volunteering at Winnie, the whole weaning/not weaning process and trying to spend more time with Kaely. So I'm sure although "it's only a few hours" to us- but to him it's been a huge change.

Since we got back from the doctor, and I was reassured of the reasons- with the suggestion to throw him in the pack n' play when he does it to keep him from hurting himself- but he's been so much better. Maybe it's just that I relaxed a bit. Or perhaps because I finally finished that research paper, or I'm trying to talk to him more and go back to sign language (not sure why I was slacking in the first place?). I'm also trying to play more... I used to be so good at doing that, but man, if the days don't just take over sometimes.

Yesterday I helped out over at Winnie at their "Mother & Baby TEA"- which is an educational and support group for new moms (up to 8 weeks of age)... once again, the whole process helped me (selfishly) in feeling good again in what we went through. It also reaffirmed my goals to continue to stride towards a career in health and education- just still haven't decided where I will end up. However, I know in my heart that this is where I need to be.

I hope everyone has a great weekend!

(Oh yeah, Kaely and I went to see Taylor Swift in concert Thursday night... it's been a long time coming. A very awesome experience I really hope she remembers when she's older... good times!)

Dear Chase...

my sweet, cuddly, even-tempered, ummm, ummm... full of character love...

I wanted to take the time to thank you, thank you for breaking the charger to the camera so I can no longer take pictures (again!).

Thank you for knocking off the original camera that broke in the first place that led to using the current camera that will not work because the battery cannot be charged...

Thank you for breaking the phone that could have at least given me decent pictures as an alternative to the camera. I really had fun trying to send messages with half the keys not working, and the phone continuing to turn off.

Thank you for throwing all of your cups and dishes so food flies across the room, and there is milk all over the carpet.

Thank you for using my hair brush on the dogs.

Thank you for paying attention to all the bad habits we have- and learning how to use things like bottle openers...

Thank you for screaming bloody murder every time I have to change your stinky butt- or try to remove the snot from your nose- I'm sure the neighbors are ready to call backup on us. Oh- but it is reassuring that you will use the suction bulb on your own nose, then proceed to put it in your mouth.

Thank you for getting into your sister's Easter eggs- and eating all the "Robins eggs" in there- getting blue slober all over the living room.

Thank you for continuously banging your head on stuff to get my attention- resulting in bruises covering your forehead, making it look like I am an abusive mommy.

Thank you for being a "boy"- sigh... I love you so much, but I do believe it's going to take an army to survive this childhood. LOL! AHHHHHHH

***Updated
Thank you for eating part of those neon gel crayons in Kaely's room- I loved having neon green spit everywhere and having to call Poison Control this afternoon, I didn't have any more exciting going on after all...

Camping Fiascos

Ah- Easter weekend camping. Originally I had not realized it'd be Easter weekend when I booked the spot, only that it was during Kae's spring break, and hey! It was available. We headed to Blue Springs State Park, and let the adventure begin.

Since Dave's work schedule was pushing out timeline a bit, we opted to take two cars, so I headed off in advance with hopes to get it all ready before he got off work. The weekend started off pretty smooth considering... the kids were laughing, I got the tent put up without much problem, and even had dinner ready by 5 or 6.

But then things like pre-teen (okay, 7 should not count in that age bracket, but still) attitudes, Chase being confined since he doesn't walk- so I didn't want him crawling in the dirt, having to keep the dogs on lockdown, etc... well, it quickly became a lot of effort!

Even after we survived dinner, started up with the marshmallows, and somehow, Kaely manages to burn herself with the roasting prongs- REALLY??? So big drama there... then bedtime and Chase's lightning bug scenario- which really had us stumped. Hoped to catch the March Madness game (UF) that evening, but no internet available (we're so spoiled) and we were all passed out by 9 anyway.

So we woke up to start a fire and get the water boiling for coffee, when I realized although I had put away all our food in the truck and locked it up, I left the Rubbermaid container of dog food on the picnic table- sealed and about a 18" x 6" container (at least) full of dry food. I couldn't find it the next morning- went nuts trying to go through the tent and truck thinking I must've just forgotten I had put it somewhere. Then though, maybe some jerk came by to mess with us... when eventually, Dave saw it back in the woods a good 20+ ft. from the table it had been on. The lid had been removed in the woods, and the container and measuring cup still intact. What on earth??? I realized after irritation led to concern, it had to have either been a really strong raccoon, or a really quiet bear. Oh crap.

After going to the store to get the dogs food, we were extra careful to put everything away. Although I got hardly any sleep as every sound made me think a bear was going to come knock our tent in. I was a little paranoid.

Then, at Blue Springs, you typically look forward to the water events- but because of the roller coaster in weather, the manatees were all hanging out at the springs, so there was no swimming allowed. Talk about drama and tears over this. Luckily, today (Sunday), Kae and Dave were able to swim in a sectioned off part of the springs since the weather had warmed.

Speaking of weather- did I mention we started off with 2-3 air mattresses- enough for everyone to have their own space- and ended up squeezing all 4 of us (and the dogs at the foot if you include that) onto the mattress... only to have a hole in there somewhere for the next day. That first night the temperatures dropped into the low 40's... I can't remember the last time I've been that cold. Even the little space heater I remembered I bought wasn't enough to warm us all. It was freezing!!!

Ah- and then there's the trains that run adjacent to the park. I saw the memo about that recently- but didn't realize that included all through the night too. Oh my... it was crazy!!!

Anyway- I do love the park, and the Springs... but have decided that the next trip must meet the following:

• No dogs with us- or at least another group with us that can take turns hanging at the campsite
• Chase MUST be walking. He cannot be contained that long, but I can't have him in the dirt like that
• Kaely MUST lose the attitude. I am NOT prepared for this crap at this age. I expect it around 12-13 maybe, not now. 
• Temperatures need to be stable- free from freezing nights and rain!

Ummm... yeah. So ultimately, looking for a vacation from our vacation now :) LOL. At least I can hope the kids had some fun!

Our Child is a Lightning Bug: A Prelude

Yep, that's right, a freaking lightning bug. Think the movie "Powder" from waaaay back in the day. This is a prelude to our actual camping story, because it's just that strange...

So, Friday  night, Kaely, Chase & I are in the tent, trying to get Chase to sleep. He was so exhausted, but insisted on crawling from mattress to mattress, petting the dogs, etc. I figured- eh, whatever- let him wear himself out. Kaely was on her side trying to go to sleep, when I noticed something strange. Seriously- when Chase was crawling, it looked like he had those "Twinkle Toes" shoes on- or a freakin' lightning bug in his pants. I thought something was wrong with my eyes. I had him in his blanket sleeper-thing, so I thought- well, crap- maybe it had to do with that thing. Seriously- I thought maybe Kaely's gel-crayons or something must be glow-in-the-dark. Nope.

So the more he moves around, the more I realize it's not his pants/outfit, and it's not just my eyes...The lights kept twinkling/flashing, not just in his pj pants, but his hands, his feet, etc. I am stunned- and keep nervously laughing about it- at which point Kaely is freaked out and asks me to stop talking about it or she's plugging her ears...

She eventually came over by me and saw it happen too. Chase is laughing the whole time. Dave's outside hanging by the fire, so we wait until he comes in. He thinks we've lost it- until he sees it too. Sure, maybe a lightning bug got caught in his pants (uh huh), but not from his bare hands and feet. This went on for probably an hour until I finally insisted we all fall asleep. I only wish I had gotten video- it was the most bizarre thing ever! I can only assume it was static electricity from him crawling on the tent floor and blankets- but seriously? NUTS!

:)

Headbanging

90's Grunge style?

Nah...

Before Chase was ever born we were told about Dave's tendency as a baby/toddler to bang his head against the bed/walls... I just snickered and shook my head and didn't think much about it after the smart remarks...

Then Chase enters. He's been doing this crap for months now- and I can't, for the life of me, figure out why??? The only conclusion I can draw is the simple "ATTENTION!" factor. No lie, the more I read about random things, the more I feel like I'm starving this child of attention- but just about anyone around us feels the opposite- that I spoil the kid rotten. Well???

So I'm guessing it's an issue of undivided attention he desires?

I sit in my infamous chair at the kitchen bar/island area where my laptop permanently resides. This means Chase will go to one of two places- either to the one end of the kitchen, to the wall where a photo of baby shower pictures lives- and will sit below the photos and (full body motion) bang the back of his head against the wall. I'm just waiting for the stinkin' pictures to come crashing down. That, or of course he comes to the chair/stool that I'm on- and either stands there grabbing at my feet (I usually have them tucked under me), or he'll sit there banging his head against the legs of the chair. WTF?

Or, I'm cooking in the kitchen, so he'll alternate between making sure the pantry door is shut, trying to peek in the cabinets (childproof latch-challenge), or again, will sit against those cabinets- staring up at me, and start banging his head.

Sigh.

Or... in the shower- he'll play in the bathroom and I'll toss water at the (glass door), so then he went for banging the front of his head yesterday- standing there laughing while doing it.

I don't get it! Crazy boy.

Then, reading in my textbook the other day, about relationships and attachment styles. Children (around 1 yr) were tested in being left in a room with the mom, with a stranger and mom, and then alone with the stranger... they observed the responses regarding separation anxiety. This is why in the beginning they recommend always responding to an infant's needs, to help build their security. Anyway- reading it, it makes Chase seem like I have been insensitive and non-responsive to his needs- falling into the "insecurely attached" infant description of "showing less tendency to leave mom's side to explore and becomes severely distressed when (mom) leaves, often crying loudly... UGH! The "securely attached" babies use mom as a safe base for happily exploring the new environment and playing with toys, and when separated from mom, they appear to feel safe, expressed only moderate distress over mom's absence, and seemed confident that mom would return to provide care and protection. I dunno- he's usually okay once I'm gone- but geez!!!!

So... I guess, yes, I am neglectful and starve him of attention. Crap.

Going Solo

Oh please- this is nothing as serious as it seems it may start off to be... but honestly? I have just remembered why I was so disillusioned after having Kaely, thinking this whole "having a kid" thing isn't so hard.

Dave went out of town yesterday just for the evening for work, and Kaely is camping this weekend with her dad and grandparents. After stressing all morning about an exam for school, Chase woke up from his nap, and it was just us. No running to get Kaely from school, no worrying about making dinner (ok, I was planning on leftovers, but our wonderful neighbors brought over a plate for dinner for us), not worrying about being the homework police at the same time as chasing after Chase... the list goes on.

Honestly- it sounds horrible- but it was awesome! Just for the evening- don't get me wrong, I wouldn't change my family for anything, I LOVE being a mom and a wife, and Kaely and Dave have both saved my life a million times over in their own individual ways. But- I really did realize how much easier it was when it was "just me" and one baby. Chase wasn't as cranky trying to capture my attention, I actually got to the point I got to watch a movie, have a glass of wine, read part of my book for FUN, and watch "my show" last night- and even stayed up past 11pm- WHAT??? 

Sigh... I think it just goes into play about caregiver burnout, and as rewarding as it is to be able to be home and take care of everyone- a one-day "Mommy-cation" is not a bad idea. I highly recommend it :) 

Monkey See, Monkey Do

I knew these days were coming, but it's fun to watch nevertheless...

Kaely plays on our bed, and decides to be "funny" and slide down head first to get off the bed. Chase follows suit a minute later (yes, I was there to catch him). Kaely grabs a hairbrush and sits down to brush her hair, Chase books it over to the drawer in the bathroom where my brushes and hair tools are. We answer the cell to chat with Dad, Chase grabs his toy phones, the remote controls, or my phone and subsequently answers "Hello" (imagine the voice of Astro from the Jetsons). Kaely eats an apple whole (without cutting into slices), so as soon as she leaves it sitting there, he snatches it and proceeds to tear into it.

I can only imagine what other behaviors we're going to witness- more often than not it's a reminder to censor our words and actions. What's cute in a toddler is often horrible in a 3-4 year old. Time is flying too fast!