As the alarm went off at 3:30 am to get to the hospital by 4:30 am, I couldn't stop shaking. It was cold, sure, but the nerves were off the charts... then, through all the uncertainty and fears- we got to hold Chase for those first brief moments- hear his cry- and see him in all his perfection. The next 25 days were nerve-wracking and emotional, and each day felt like an eternity. The staff tried to reassure us that the day or two of set-backs would be nothing in the grand-scheme of a year or more, but in that moment, it was hard to believe. Now I can see how true it is. This year has flown, and the accomplishments our little boy has achieved continue to amaze.
I never allowed myself to think this far ahead this time last year. I wasn't sure what the next days would bring. But as I am attempting to make lollipops and his birthday cake for tomorrow, I have to smile. Even with his cranky, high-maintenance attitude, he just cracks me up and fills me with joy. Watching him and Nathan play last night, climbing over each other, toys, laughing, competing, and really enjoying themselves- I have started to let it sink in that we really have survived this year. How blessed we really are.
So... while the memories from last year are still very fresh, fragile, and real- I don't worry about Chase like I did- he really is strong, healthy, and by all means- a very strong headed individual :) Happy Birthday Eve!
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