To say this past year has not gone as "planned" is an understatement... Chase- and everything about him- has taught us that you can plan all you want, but something bigger than us has a different idea. We had all these plans about the timing of our wedding, school, jobs, even a ballpark of when we'd ideally like a baby to enter our lives.
I don't think one of those things went "as planned"- the wedding was supposed to be a different date/time/location at one point- but I think how it turned out was better than I had envisioned. School took forever to get into my program, and I had every intention of going to a different school - but clearly that didn't work as I'd thought it would- the program I ended up with was perfect for how our year turned out. Our jobs? hahaha. The frustration & all that went with the disaster that was our jobs early last year, then me being fired after being put on bedrest and all that drama... well, it worked out for the best on my end- how else would I have been able to spend an entire month at the hospital with Chase- giving him the support and presence not everyone can provide- and enjoy every day with him since? Dave's job down south has been the hardest part of it all, but the insurance alone has saved us- seeing some of these hospital bills trickle in has been an eye opener. The distance has made us value each other (I believe) and realize that anything that comes easy just isn't worth it- we have to work that much harder to fight for what we have. Still not sure the lesson or apparent end-result of the job/location/move- but I know there is a reason behind that as well.
The biggest "unplanned-planned" event was Chase himself. We knew we wanted a baby, we just had no idea he'd arrive so soon- both in his surprising us back in June with knowing he existed, and then his impatient arrival in December to be in our arms. He has turned us on our heads- as a couple, a family, and in searching our individual hearts. I thought I knew what I wanted and when- but so much of what was given to us instead was better than I could have imagined it. He has made us realize what is most important when you strip away everything else. My desire to be a nurse has increased ten-fold, but the timing of that has become the least important. Knowing that not everything has to happen "now" - and maybe there's something else I'm meant to be doing and somewhere else I need to be.
The grass is always greener- but all it takes is a little reminder to remember just how fortunate you really have it.
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